by Max Barry

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Region: Forest

Terrabod wrote:Does your nation have a creation myth, even if none of your citizens believe it today?

In the United States, we believe that in the 1700s a bunch of British colonists on the east coast of North America were being dreadfully and unjustly oppressed by the faraway British government. These colonists were understandably miffed by their slavish conditions and decided to do something about it. They pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and held a big tea party where, after a few beers, they decided to declare independence from the mother country. After purchasing some awfully overpriced stamps, the colonists sent the British king, George Michael, a long letter in which they listed their grievances, complaints, protesations, accusations, criticisms, career aspirations, fantasies, New Year's resolutions, quibbles, dreams, grumbles, moans, and gripes. The British king stuck his fingers in his ears and declared, "La la la! I'm not listening!" This moment went viral, and the colonists got super mad (this is known as the "day that will live in infamy"). So the American Freedom War began, and we Americans beat the British pretty easily with the help of our African and Indian allies and God. Now we have a perfect nation.

According to polling from the Pew Research Center, despite 100% of us agreeing that America is the best and greatest nation on the earth, only 2% of Americans believe all the details of the above narrative. I believe that this demonstrates the immense lack of proper education and understanding of history among the American people. We have to do better, guys.