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Apparently PewDiePie died in a recent issue I got. He died as he lived; making click bait for dem views.

I can go now.

Clanktopolis

Pinochet executionists

Lardyland

Greetings, members of BGN
I would like to inform you that Lardyland will be holding an online Super Smash Bros Ultimate tournament on or around the date the game releases.
below is a dispatch about it. Please spread this around/pin it to your region if you can so more people can find out about it.
Send me a telegram if you wish to participate.
page=dispatch/id=1082724

Clanktopolis

Show

Post by The confederate territory suppressed by Clanktopolis.

The confederate territory

Northern Redlands

Good evening,

As a valued embassy of the Northern Redlands, I would like to bestow upon you all a complimentary copy of the October 2018 edition of the Redlands Reader. Enjoy!

THE REDLANDS READER OCT 2018

by The confederate territory

VOLUME I
ISSUE I
OCTOBER 2018

𝔗𝔥𝔢 ℜ𝔢𝔡𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔰 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯
The Official Publication of the Northern Redlands

"Glory be to the Northern Redlands!"



REGIONAL NEWS
✯✯✯

COMMUNIST ERBOK TAKES ON THE CONFEDERATE CHALLENGE


The mountain all teams in all heats had to ruck to the top of during the Confederate Challenge.

In order to prepare teams for the upcoming 2nd Annual Fall War Games in Whitetopia2015, The confederate territory hosted the 1st Annual Confederate Challenge. The Confederate Challenge consisted of a 20 mile ruck from a starting point on The Plain to the peak of Mt. Corpyton, a musket shooting lane for accuracy, and then a para-glide back to the starting point. Teams consisted of twelve members. A team was given a NO GO for any injuries, negligent discharges, or para-glider malfunctions encountered. The competition was divided into three different heats based on skill level.

A total of 28 different teams competed in Heat A of the competition, but the Communist erbok team Cyclops took first place with a perfect score of 300, a feat no other team was able to achieve. For this achievement, Communist erbok was awarded REGIONAL COMMENDATION D. Coming in second was The confederate territory's team Beauregard's Few with a score of 290. Followed by Lgbt londontown's team United People's Army with a score of 284, upsetting Yun oouk's SYS Platoon 3 by less than half a point.

"Nothing surprised me quite like this," admitted President Polonius Bedford of The confederate territory. "Why Communist erbok deserved the win. I have work to do on my own team. At least I am not Yun oouk, I would be very embarrassed to be upset by one of the most pacifist nations in this region, Lgbt londontown!"

Supreme Kommander Promethazine, on the other hand, was very pleased with his team's victory. "It feels good to win," the reclusive leader explained. "I wanted to win so much that we would get tired of winning! Now look what happened!" This is the first regional event Communist erbok has ever won, and it surely does act as a testament to the power of Supreme Kommander Promethazine.

As for the B Heat, The confederate territory Men of the Line won it with a score of 296, and the Yun oouk 3rd Ouyak Militia won Heat C with a score of 271. All teams performed to their best abilities and represented their nations well. They can expect this training to pay off, as they know some strengths and weakness to prepare them for the upcoming Fall War Games.
Written by: Communist erbok

REPARATIONS


An old picture of Alabami soldiers training in the jungle.

It has been almost a century since the Great Alabami Cleansing which has defined Jokenation ever since. While Jokenation has worked hard since to make up for the incident by past leader Supreme Kommander Charles Rickston, but Supreme Kommander James Rickston and the Empirical Entente decided it was finally time to act. Supreme Kommander James Rickston allowed Empirean territories in land formerly owned by Alabami to separate from Jokenation and form the new nation of Obichma (pronounced "Oh-bick-mah").

Not all Empireans received this well. "Our leader has got to be out of his mind!" exclaimed Jameel Higgins, a radical fascist now living in Obichma. "I've lived here my whole life and now I am subject to a brand new government that does not represent me, an Empirean."

On the contrary, Alabami-Empireans are ecstatic. Tyreke Quantavius VIII told reporters all about his joy. "Finally, we get the reparations we deserve! My family was torn apart by evil Charles Rickston! I am thankful for his son giving us reparations and our land back!"

King Jim Porcelatraveous, a distant relative of the famous General-Kang Porcelatraveous of Alabami, is Kang of Obichma. Boogah-Ooh, the former capital of Alabami, has also been reestablished as the capital of Obichma. Not only will Obichma be receiving money from the Empirical Entente, but they are also a full member of the alliance and entitled to its protection.

Obichma is already significantly different compared to how Alabami was. Obichma embraces Neo-Empirean values and is reflected in its culture reminiscing of The confederate territory, Jokenation, and Ulrech. Furthermore, Obichma understands that, although democratic socialism sounds good, it will never, ever, work. Obichma stands against the socialist globalists of the Northern Redlands.
Written by: Obichma

EMPIRICAL REFORMATION


Ulrech wrote:From the progress I’ve seen by all EE members I think we’re moving into somewhat of a golden age for the alliance

The new logo and structure of the EE signals heavy change in the controversial alliance.

The Empirical Entente has often been regarded as the alliance of fascism and genocide in the Northern Redlands. However, much reform has come to the Empirical Entente since its founding after Supreme Kommander Charles Rickston of Jokenation kneeled down to the mighty High King Varus of Ulrech. More reform to the alliance has come this month, decades after the original creation of the alliance.

High King Varus of Ulrech was elected to formally lead the alliance, which had previously been a triumvirate between leaders of Ulrech, The confederate territory, and Jokenation. This change reflects upon the inner democracy of the alliance, giving the member nations a say in how their alliance is ran. Furthermore, President Polonius Bedford of The confederate territory was appointed Executive Officer, taking charge of the newly-appointed staff of the Empirical Entente.

The reformed Empirical Entente has already been hard at work. Putzmannschaft Commander Supreme Kommander Promethazine of Communist erbok established the Fair Contribution Policy outlining expectations of defense support by member nations. Wirtschaftsbüro Commander King HH Gregg established a new set of Economic Standards placing regulations on tariffs and free trade in order to better fund the alliance. The Empirical Entente also welcomes the membership of Romano neo, Trescruces, and Moultrie.

This reform to the Empirical Entente supplements the establishment of Fort Silvo, named after the honorable leader of Dunstrum. Fort Silvo encompasses a total area of 227,383 sq miles, making it larger than some nations in the Northern Redlands. Its space and location allows for the Putzmannschaft to conduct large scale training close to adverse nations, making it a very useful tool for the alliance to use in order to display military strength.
Written by: The confederate territory

ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT: FFYD

In response to the Empirical Entente's new tariffs as well as an excess of economic stagnation in the Northern Redlands, leaders from the nations Fereria, The republic of ferrum, Yun oouk, and The dealerian empire have all discussed the possibility of an economic union between them. Unofficially coined "FFYD" (pronounced "fid") by Fererian economists, the union would focus entirely on open trade and benefiting the nations involved through improvement of trade routes between them and less restrictions in trade. Although planned out long ago, FFYD is finally coming to fruition, all starting at a summit in Yunei, Yun oouk soon, which will discuss the final terms for the treaty that will put FFYD into action. Other nations that are formally invited to the summit in Yunei despite having no involvement in the original planning of the summit are Ulrech, Vlastince, and Joponio. If FFYD is enacted, it should not interfere with any military alliances, as it is purely meant to be an economic union.
Written by: Yun oouk

TOP TEN NATIONS: ARMS MANUFACTURING

This month, we will be taking a gaze upon a critical category in the Northern Redlands. Often it is argued who has the best weapons, who sells the best weapons, and who sells the most weapons. Sales of weapons determines the success of the Arms Manufacturing Industry, which is effectively measured by the Charon Conveyancy Index. Do note that the Charon Conveyancy Index is measured in the local currency of a specific nation. Therefore, these results are to be taken with a grain of salt as the actual inflated value of the currencies are not accounted for.


A factory of IrwinCorp, Ltd. in Fort Parv, Jokenation.

Top 10 Arms Manufacturing Sectors:
  1. Jokenation - 32,226.33

  2. The second empire of gilmor - 31,295.98

  3. Eskibon - 28,574.85

  4. Dunstrum - 27,150.81

  5. Fereria - 27,067.51

  6. Romano neo - 26,316.95

  7. Communist erbok - 25,915.14

  8. Authoritekkia - 24,454.60

  9. Hell enterprises - 23,248.15

  10. Gryaznaya - 21,738.25

Written by: Hh greggland

NATIONAL NEWS
✯✯✯

A NEW BEGINNING


Petr Nowak during his press conference in Yunei, promising justice for Warwick's victims without losing sight of Shadistani's nationalist values.

Shadistani is a small Yunnish nation in Northern Redlands with a harrowing past. Despite decades crying for sovereignty and independence, the Shadistanis were often perceived as the villains, whether they desired a villainous reputation or not. The vast majority of the region could care less for the Shadistani people then, but the rise of the Warwicks had them in a sunken place with the international community.

Red historians revealed that Razor Warwick held major contempt for The reddington states and its allies. He was a totalitarian fascist who was jeered by members of Reddington's parliament, many of whom were independent-thinking libertarians. Warwick remained silent on his attack of Rubrum and the genocide of the Nodes. When he rose to power, he initiated another genocide through a nuclear electromagnetic pulse. Over half of the Red population was wiped out, and the survivors were forced to rebuild the north. It required the intervention of Stratarian killbots to cease the genocide. Warwick finally met his maker when he sent one of his soldiers to the Yunnish World Fair, where the soldier raped a political prisoner in front of the world leaders. Schnoidland and the Federal Axis invaded New shadiland in retaliation, but it was the Chuphstani rebels of the Spartan-occupied west that ended Warwick.

Rodney Warwick, the young son of Razor Warwick, manipulated the Shadistanis to serve him unjustly. He scapegoated Eastlandian director Dodge Whitlock and accused him of killing New shadiland's then-president Pavlo Agnew. He purposefully physically and verbally abused his citizens, especially the unemployed and the hungry, most of whom were slum dwellers from the City of God, a massive slum Warwick set out to destroy. His idea of a capitalist utopia killed over a hundred thousand civilians and numerous major political figures, including the runaway empress of Joponio. These acts, along with his revealed brutality against people who were close to him, contributed to Shadistani's unfortunate record.

On Friday afternoon, the Shadistanis were given the opportunity to vote on a regional minister, with, of course, the supervision of Yunnish parliament. Five candidates with different backgrounds entered the spotlight in the past few weeks. Many believed that Abbey Thomas, a 31-year-old Ulrechian women who was initially destined to run as Libre Abitre's regional minister, would win the Spartan election. The other candidates included Petr Nowak, Yahr Antonik, Albert Montgomery, and Gerta Janikowski. When the votes were manually counted, members of Yunnish parliament declared Nowak victorious over Thomas by three votes. There were several major reasons to his victory over the other candidates.

Last week, Petr Nowak held a press conference hoping to ease the controversy revolving around his stance on torture and the death penalty. Nowak stated that the Spartan government should be given the sufficient tools to crack down and prosecute pro-Warwick Spartan officers. He additionally promised to collaborate with the Alliance of Nations to cease all human rights violations; the Alliance of Nations was well-known for being the most outspoken about the Warwicks. Overall, he was the candidate best known for speaking against the Warwicks' human rights abuses. On the other hand, Thomas promised a technological revolution comparable to that of Yun oouk's industrialization, and Nowak admittedly agreed with her on a modernization phase. This may have ruined Thomas's chances of becoming regional minister, seeing as the citizens of Shadistani viewed her as a Federal Axian clone. Several telegrams by High King Varus and the Ulrechian government helped to increase support for Nowak around the world.

With Petr Nowak as the imminent regional minister, he invited Thomas and Montgomery to a dinner on him. Reporters, who secretly recorded the political discussions they held at the dinner table, reported that Nowak was open to any policies that would help move Shadistani forward, as long as he was able to bolster the Spartan Armada without parliament intervention. Thomas confessed her fear of Yahr Antonik's seize of Spartan power; Antonik recently made a controversial statement criticizing Thomas as a potential leader. In response, Nowak discussed how the Spartans would undergo major re-training and mental stability tests. Spartans unwilling to adapt to Nowak's anti-Warwick tactics would be prosecuted by the extent of the law, as well as stripped of their military duties. Petr Nowak wants Shadistani to improve in every aspect. It only happens that he wants the rapid expansion of the Spartan army first and foremost.
Written by: Shadistani

SACRIFICING FREEDOMS FOR STRENGTH

Dodge Whitlock, director of Fort eastland's military operations, has made several steps to improving his soldiers' health, intelligence, and overall development. He enacted a ban on biological reproduction, smoking, and alcohol. Soldiers will have no say in the medical use of their bodies after death. Criminals may be at risk of facing the death penalty, and all soldiers must follow national curfew. Eastlandian soldiers are administered an under-the-skin identification chip so that leaders are fully knowledgeable of their whereabouts. Whitlock is also seeking an end to euthanasia, believing that soldiers must be given an opportunity to live, rather than an opportunity to contemplate suicide. At a time when the strength of the region's alliances are becoming more essential than ever, Whitlock has continually made the right decisions.
Written by: Novum vallis

SEEKING JUSTICE IN NEW MOONISTAN


Citizens in New moonistan protest against Dunstrum occupation.

The infamous leader of New moonistan, President Mason Moonman, continues to hide in a cave deep within the mountains of New moonistan. Despite this, Dunstrum's valiant soldiers continue to look for him and other government officers in hiding throughout the nation, hoping to bring them to justice for the praising of the slaughter of innocent civilians.

Dozens of Dunstrum's citizens were brutally murdered by the 1488th Elite Infantry Regiment following the crash of Flight 1337. After the soldiers killed the civilians, they began to consume their body parts and drink their blood. Whereas the world was disgusted by it, President Mason Moonman had decided to grant Medals of Honor to those who engaged in the attack.

However, it is reported that President Mason Moonman has been collaborating with officers in Jokenation to rile up civilians against the Dunstrum forces currently deployed to New moonistan.

"Yeah, we gotta remove the Dunstrum invaders because we gotta secure our government, our way of life, and our race. I would rather die trying!" shouts citizen Hans Grimmlich of Orwenburg, New moonistan. While it is unconfirmed if Jokenation operatives are working in the region, it remains true that there is a general anti-Dunstrum influence working on the populations of New moonistan's towns and cities.

Dunstrum remains alert, ready to do something.

"This is cannibalism! This isn't some new counterculture or something... This is cannibalism, and it is repulsive! I am thankful my nation is standing up against this!" cries citizen Dan Pollubsk of Dunstrum. "I implore you to do something. Bring it up to your nation's leadership. We must do something to prevent these types of tragedies!" Despite his efforts, only the nation of Dunstrum has stood up against the wrongdoing of the official government of New moonistan.
Written by: New moonistan

ELECTION IN DUNSTRUM

An election is soon to commence in Dunstrum. This election, which had been continually postponed due to the Catastrophe, has finally had a definite deadline set.

Czanek Silvo, the current president of Dunstrum, has expressed enthusiasm for the coming election, stating “Elections are key for any free nation, as they ensure the leaders of the nation are still representing the will of the people, and any poor representatives are replaced with new ones.

Previous elections since Czanek's first term have been notably one-sided, as President Silvo has routinely won the elections based on his promises to keep Dunstrum safe from the Empirical Entente, among other threats. Other potential candidates didn't really have the reputation, the resources, or the support of the people to realistically beat him. However, ever since the Catastrophe, several cities in Dunstrum have effectively become their own miniature nations, and now several of those cities' leaders are preparing to run against President Silvo in the next election. Among them are Grand Ascendent Angelina, the cyborg director of City 101, High Priest Jordan, who's taken control of the small county of Usil, and Mr. Footwel, the "mayor" of the city of Footwel. It is not entirely known what the strategies of the new candidates will be, but considering the recent accusations against Silvo's rhetoric, and Dunstrum's recent partnership with the FA, it is safe to say that this election will be a interesting one. Also, one of the malfunctioning J1M News bots is also running.
Written by: Dunstrum

THE FORREST PELLET

In Obichma, James Pulaski of The confederate territory led a team to develop the Forrest pellet, a new psychological weapon that invokes a sense of impending doom on its subjects. James Pulaski, a few days later, flew back to Corpyton, BD, The confederate territory where he arranged for his company, the Corpyton Chemical Corporation, to manufacture the chemical concoction in masses.

"We must create a crap ton of this stuff!" exclaimed James Pulaski. "It is humane, temporary in its effects, cheap, and effective. Our military will be strengthened by it!"

Although many Confederates question the humanity of the Forrest pellet, it does make a better alternative to the physical pain of warfare by conventional reasons. Although President Polonius Bedford himself is worried, he fears not as he trusts James Pulaski.

President Polonius Bedford told reporters, "Yeah I trust him. He is a great guy and certainly he has the right idea. Let's just hope the recipe does not get leaked anywhere... Last thing we need is for New moonistan or like nations to get a hold of it."

Indeed, it would be bad for another nation to get a hold of the chemical. It should be noted that the chemical works in very low doses as low as 100 micrograms, but is unstable. When exposed air for long periods of time or after immediate exposure to water, the chemical breaks down. There is no known antidote, but researchers have used tranquilizers to put subjects to sleep so they could not kill themselves. The effects last anywhere from 5 to 12 hours depending on the dose received. More information is available here.
Written by: The confederate territory

[size=220]PERSPECTIVES
✯✯✯

A VISIT TO NOVUM VALLIS


The wondrous haven of Lux Aeterna, Novum vallis.

Earlier this month, I had the opportunity to embark out to Novum vallis, one of the head nations of the Federal Axis, in order to engage in business. Say I must, it was marvelously beautiful. Simply stating the nation has the 4th best environment in the region does not do Novum vallis a speck of justice. I had to frolic throughout the parks, hike long trails, and walk along the northern beaches to truly take it in. Aside from enjoying nature, I traveled to the capital city at Lux Aeterna. There I was able to take in the culture of the city. It is apparent that this was a well kept city; the streets were clean, the people were happy and cheerful, and the culture was unique. Interested in this high quality of life, once I returned to Hh greggland, I immediately conducted some research on the nation as to what makes it so great.

To my astonishment, Novum vallis boasts the second largest government in the Northern Redlands. Additionally, the citizens of Novum vallis pay an insanely large average income tax of 92.9%. However, this grants the government room to be able to provide services such as universal healthcare and paid maternity leave to its citizens as well as funding other areas to improve the quality of life such as by funding welfare, education, healthcare, and defense forces. Such improvements towards the quality of life are reflected in Novum vallis's average lifespan of 91.04 years and human development index value of 94.46.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed my visit to Novum vallis and look forward to visiting again in the future, I am glad I do not live there. Sure, the benefits definitely do exist, but to my dismay I also discovered that Novum vallis places ID chips into their citizens at birth. This is quite alarming because that is an infringement upon civil liberties and privacy. There also are instances of surges in emotion causing such ID chips to explode in nations like Jokenation, leading to the policy being revoked. Furthermore, the high taxation would go towards many services that simply would not benefit me, yet I would still be paying for, which really turns me off. Still, Novum vallis is a beautiful and remarkable nation that I dearly recommend visiting.
Written by: Hh greggland

PROTECTING THE ENVIRONMENT

The environment is not only important, but it is all that we have. Jokenation boasts the largest land area of all nations, meaning it is the most responsible for protecting the environment, yet throughout history, Jokenation has been awful at it.

I firmly believe that the biggest reason as to why Jokenation has had such a shoddy environment historically is the lack of awareness of it or how supporting it can improve a nation. Throughout its history, Jokenation began at having almost no pounds of wildlife per square mile. Under the leadership of Supreme Kommander James Rickston, Jokenation now boasts well over 1,000 pounds of wildlife per square mile, a number that continues to grow.

Contrary to public belief, funding the environment can improve the economy. It also increases tourism, average income, human development, health, and lifespan. Many criticized Supreme Kommander James Rickston's Ecofascist policies, but they have paid off in the Empire and are motivating the rest of the Empirical Entente to follow suit, joining the ranks of quality Federal Axis nations that have already prioritized their environments. In fact, it would not be unreasonable to claim that Jokenation's rising in the Redlands Ranker can be attributed towards the refocus on prioritizing the environment, as its benefits are weighed highly on the ranker.

"We must secure the existence of our environment and a future for Empirean nature," Supreme Kommander James Rickston told reporters. "Now if you mind me not, I have a date to attend to!" Not only is he good-hearted with the ladies, he is also good-hearted with supporting the environment of the region's largest nation.
Written by: Jokenation

REMEMBERING THE HERO OF THE CONFEDERACY


Where is great Beauregard, our general?

It appears the Northern Redlands has forgotten about the greatest leader in its history: General Beauregard of The confederate territory. Regarded in The confederate territory as the Father of the Confederacy, it appears as if his legacy has slipped the mind of the rest of the region.

The confederate territory was originally a part of the Reddington Empire. When the territory decided to secede from the Empire, many officers in the Reddington Empire's military were split. They either had to defend their homeland, or defend their nation. Private Beauregard, a member of the Reddington Empire military was one such leader that flipped to the Confederate side. After all, he had grown up just outside of Corpyton. Fighting with the Confederates, he rose quickly in the ranks, becoming a general in the Confederate Army by the end of the war.

General Beauregard was instrumental in the Battle of Corpyton where he and his platoon killed an entire battalion of invading Reds. After the Reddington Empire surrendered to the Confederates, General Beauregard was voted leader by the people of the new nation. He gave birth to The confederate territory.

Throughout his rule, he continued to serve in the military, often fighting on the ground with his men. He defended Southwest bushfort in Operation: Liberation where his and allied nations came in aid to overthrow the Gaddafi regime in the nation, replacing him with Jefferson Davis to improve the nation. He defended Southwest bushfort again during War In The North II when it was attacked by The reddington states who meant to nuke Northeast hedgefort. After the war, General Beauregard aided the Bushfortians as they migrated from their irradiated homeland to unclaimed territory west of The confederate territory. Later into his rule over The confederate territory, he rode bears through the wilderness of Eskibon while the region thought he was dead, and defeated the fascist Affiliated Forces of Jokenation, Tartom, and Communist erbok in the Legion War. He eventually died of medical complications and old age. His death was mourned across the Northern Redlands.

Aside from his colossal role in regional peacekeeping, humanitarian operations, and leadership, he also lead The confederate territory when it ranked #1 in the region, boasting the largest defense forces, development, lifespan, scientific advancement, public transport, and many others before the unity and rise of Federal Axis powers. General Beauregard's policies were progressive for the time he was alive in and motivated nations all over the region to improve their nations in order to beat him in the rankings.

Under his rule, he established a Northern Redlands Cartography Committee in charge of mapping out the region. He also developed a system of regional awards to award member nations. These awards are still used today and are still being created. He also created the first alliance, 1CAFT, which paved the way for the future of alliances in the Northern Redlands. His alliances operated under doctrine and all nations respected the terms of the alliance. Similar doctrine is present in the structure of modern alliances and even the region itself. Whether nations of the Northern Redlands recognize it or not, General Beauregard had a huge influence on the history of the region and its structure. Without a doubt, he was the most benevolent leader the Northern Redlands has ever had.
Written by: The confederate territory

WORKING TOGETHER TO STRIVE FOR BETTER

The Empirical Entente officially declared that its purpose was to protect member nations from "evil globalists uniting and conspiring to strip nations of their sovereignties". I didn't see how making such an outrageous statement was necessary, because in reality, its rival alliance, the Federal Axis, and the Alliance of Nations to a smaller extent, could care less about what their member nations do to their citizens. What the rest of the world outside the Empirical Entente fears is their potential attempts to stomp on the sovereignty of non-member nations. In a nutshell, the same alliance complaining about other nations conspiring to strip them of their so-called "sovereignties" is threatening to strip nations of their ability to protect themselves from foreign attacks. This is quite evident with the recent declaration that The second empire of gilmor would defend its citizens abroad, even if they have committed crimes in foreign nations.

Nero Ennodius, a young leader from Novum vallis but a close friend of mine, wrote the first provision of his own doctrine, which led to our organization's reputation of being "globalist" and "elitist". I'll have the critic, the Empirical Entente, know that they do pose a threat to the region, whether or not they're destructive to specific races, ethnicities, or genders. Any alliance whose power is unchecked is prone to creating preventable global disasters. While I understand that information needs to be disclosed with the international community, and that most nations want to express freedom of association, it's understandable why such a doctrine is necessary. The point of the doctrine is to collectively counterattack future threats from a powerful yet controversial alliance such as the Empirical Entente. A strong fire must be fought with a stronger fire. However, that is not why I've decided to write this hit-piece.

Although the Empirical Entente has a tendency to assume things that don't turn out true, as a leader in the Federal Axis, I have to unfortunately admit that the Federal Axis shares this issue. I was initially angry when James Rickston rose to power in Kellnoogers and eventually Jokenation, given the history of his relatives. However, it turns out he was the best thing to happen to the Empireans since the invention of tea. Jokenation is finally a top twenty-five nation with a highly developed populace. He's a Rickston who, unlike his relatives, believes in the rights and liberties of all, not just the white natives. The Federal Axis also quickly assumed that Ulrech formed the Empirical Entente with The confederate territory to form an alliance with militant fascists, but zero genocides or tragedies of a significant death toll have occurred since its formation.

Regarding the Alliance of Nations' issue with quickly assuming the negative, is it really necessary to bring up the obvious?

The major problem facing this region is that every alliance only sees the differences and not the similarities. We only perceive what we believe our "enemies" would do to us instead of perceiving what we have in common with others. Does anyone in the world want to be world policing the entire region? Nobody does, including Dunstrum. Interventionism should only come in a time like genocide, or if an ally is threatened by a darker force; most of us, if not all of us, agree with this. Does anyone in the world want others to think the same way they do? Of course, but if they don't like progressive or conservative ideals, then it's their inalienable right. To call one or the other "fascist" or "globalist" is both intellectually dishonest and damaging to one's reputation. To make it short for those who still don't understand, most of us believe nations should let go and let God. A man like Charles Rickston, Razor Warwick, or Abram Albotti may never rise to power ever again. It's proven in the recent election in Shadistani, where even though we disagreed between Abbey Thomas and Petr Nowak, we unanimously believed to vote against Yahr Antonik, the clear fascist among the candidates for regional minister.

Now, we face a terrorist threat in the Libertas and the Levante. I haven't heard from the Levante, but the Libertas have forced Rahowa into a state of emergency, bombing their capital and gunning down their beloved leader. Stratarian reportedly sent killbots on the way to taking the terrorists down one by one. Now do you agree with me when I say that these terrorists need to be cracked down? I'd hope so. Let's work together to create a better future: a future free of terrorism and nuclear apocalypse.
Written by: Lgbt londontown

UNPROFESSIONALISM IN THE EE


Seriously, who would date this guy? I'd cry too if I were that ugly.

It's ironic, the Empirical Entente is trying to rebrand itself with a new sense of professionalism, yet at their press conference, they overstep their boundaries in their responses. For starters, President Polonius Bedford and High King Varus disagreed with each other on a multitude of answers, making each other look bad. But it gets worse, such as when the two leaders were forced to discuss the founding of the Empirical Entente and why they admit controversial nations.

"I’ll be honest," proclaimed the High King, "The EE was founded based on my selfish intentions of being the most powerful leader in the world." This truly exposes the Empirical Entente for what it is, a means of power to exert fascist ideology on the rest of the Northern Redlands. Normally I would be okay with this, but they cucked on their beliefs and are now promoting this nonsensical ideology of democracy. Before you stop reading, consider the fact that President Polonius Bedford even admits that democracy will not work.

In regards to Supreme Kommander James Rickston, President Polonius Bedford states, "I know him personally. He'd make Jokenation a democracy, but he feels that if Jokenation becomes a democracy, people will vote for it to become an autocracy, like what happens in Dunstrum." The reason he states this is because it is true; democracy will always fail and lead to autocracy. Therefore, why fight it in the first place? It's time we all say yes to autocracy. Supreme Kommander James Rickston is doing the right thing, holding onto his authoritarian power in order to provide his citizens with civil liberties. It only gets better once the next dictator takes them away.

To add to the unprofessionalism, President Polonius Bedford mentioned the love life of Supreme Kommander James Rickston and how much he cried after his failed Grindr date. President Bedford even went as far to suggest that Supreme Kommander James Rickston is not gay. I don't know about that, buddy, especially with his recent policies abolishing discrimination by sexuality, thus granting gays more rights than ever in Jokenation. And then after stating that, President Bedford pissed himself and scurried away. How unprofessional. The Empirical Entente still has reform to do it, and it starts with how its leadership acts, especially in front of large crowds like this press conference.
Written by: Shekelstein land

GUN CONTROL? IS IT GOOD?


Gun control is a very controversial topic in Kurconterio

Around the nation, people proclaim about the wonders of gun control. In the city of San Anzaldo, we interviewed citizens to hear their opinions on the controversial issue plaguing the country. Below are questions asked and their corresponding answers from different, anonymous citizens.

First, we asked citizens, "do you support gun control?" Here are the responses:

"Yeah, uhm, I like it!"

"Gun control... Hmmm... Yeah, our nation needs more of that."

"Oh definitely! It will help make sure criminals don't get no guns!"

After seeing a majority of yes responses, our team asked them to explain why.

"Because uh you know, it will stop crime!"

"My children cannot even go to school without fears of being shot! We must ban all guns!"

"Lots of crazy people out there that just don't need guns."

We then brought up a counterpoint. "Well the Empirean fascists ruling in Alabami took guns away from the citizens in the nation. Do you think allowing them to have guns could've prevented this tragedy?" Many people changed their minds.

"Oh well of course, but you can trust the government nowadays, so people don't need them."

"I don't think it could have stopped em. Jokenation was and is too strong."

"Yes it would've stopped them. I change my mind. We need guns!"

I must conclude that people in Kurconterio recognize that there may be some value in having guns, but they mostly support gun control measures. Many of them, however, fall under the trap of vague, meaningless explanations that sound good but never work in practice. Criminals will always get guns or use a different type of weapon in place. Never let your guard down. Never let the government trample on your rights.
Written by: Kurconterio

SOCIALIST LIBERTARIANISM IN ACAPULCA

I've been proud to call myself a social and economic libertarian. I've believed my entire life, especially as a young adult, that the government's only real power should be to protect the lives, liberties, and pursuits of happiness of its citizens. Social and economic liberalization is necessary for an insouciant populace. I made these political stances very clear to my strongly socialist father, Keithrow Griffiths. Our political contrasts kept us from being close to each other. We don't see each other eye to eye as father and daughter. Many of his ideals were very left-leaning and, in the nicest way possible, pipe dreams. His speeches about how "socialism was the solution to the world's problems" was embarassing. It made it difficult for me to admit that I was his daughter.

I went on a trip to Charleotopia where I encountered a Spartan; his name was Zebediah Ruback. He and I discussed the apparent decline of nationalism in favor of inclusiveness and diversity. I didn't agree with that; I think it's best to leave people alone--as long as they aren't hurting anyone. Zebediah agreed with me on the idea that there should always be a possibility of privatization in every proposed policy, so there's that. He told me we could be friends since we intellectually disagreed on a few things but shared similarities on numerous other issues. Zebediah offered me a car ride to Gread rike, where, according to him, the military he served for would finally punish war criminals. What I failed to realize was that they weren't war criminals, they were prisoners of war. Chuphshahstan lost its western territory to present-day Shadistani, and many of the surviving soldiers were prosecuted. Many of them were crying for their lives during my stay in Gread Rike, and in the end the Spartans led by Zebediah ended their misery. Nothing about this changed my mind; rather it proved the idea that nations should be against the death penalty--that they should be against torture. It was excruciating to watch.

Libertarians held a controversial stance on consent, but it made perfect sense. As long as she said "yes", the partner could legally perform sexual intercourse with her. I dress very conservatively and refused to dress in skimpy outfits exposing my physical characteristics. Five days after we left Gread Rike, Zebediah complimented my face. He told me, "You have a beautiful name and a beautiful face." I thanked him, and then he proceeded to ask me, "Were you always interested in sexual liberation?" It took me a few minutes to answer that; I initially told him "I don't know" but ultimately said, "Sure, I guess."

We were at the World Fair in Yun oouk, but before the event, we stayed at a hotel in Downtown Yunei. He was no longer in his armor, and he was with his other friends, all of whom were men. They complimented my appearance; one of them even admitted, "She is perfect for the job." I was unaware of what job Zebediah's friends were referring to. The next day, Zebediah left me with another soldier, who stood by him the other night. He ordered me to dress in a white tank top and beige shorts, and then he asked, "Are you ready for this?" I answered yes because I was a gullible fool. Everytime he acted sexually towards me, he asked if I felt sexually liberated yet. Each time I admitted that we were "getting closer to 'it'". He handcuffed me and undressed me in a corner so that all the world leaders wouldn't see me. Several minutes later, he did 'it'. I felt a painful sensation all over me and was rushed to a nearby hospital. When I was in the emergency room, I suddenly realized that they were morally corrupted soldiers with a lust for younger, more vulnerable women; and they saw me as a victim. Leaving the emergency room several weeks later, I wanted to see if there were anymore people like them in the world.

Unfortunately, my suspicions were correct. There are leaders and militaries in the region who take advantage of the capitalist system to pursue their psychotic gains. The Spartans didn't believe they were raping me because I was blindly nodding my head to every question they were asking. Consider this a poor comparison, but it was much like the rich claiming to not steal from the poor because the government barely taxed them. In the Warwick-era of Shadistani, citizens were taxed under twenty percent and yet, they were often discriminated, abused, and quite frequently even outright murdered. In Excersize balls, the rich stripped the poor of any welfare and aid, keeping the poor poorer as the wealthy profited millions out of their suffering. When the International Inquirer, who owns the Redlands Reader, reported that the Ballsian president released a convicted rapist over the lack of evidence, many leaders--particularly left-libertarian ones--were furious. I asked the Federal Axis, who were known for their highly developed societies, if I could join them in their meeting to discuss Harley Epstein, the so-called rapist, and they said, "Sure, why not?" They accepted me because they probably knew about my political differences with my father, who they've disliked.

During the meeting, Nikolas Palowski appeared on-screen. The Londontown prime minister, Richard Stuart, exchanged some heated words towards him. Many of the world leaders joined him in implementing economic sanctions on Excersize Balls, but all of them agreed to outright ban Harley. Harley was revealed to be a corrupt corporate businessman who violated civil liberties to make a profit. He profited out of human exploitation and rape and may have profited out of the trial alone. Excersize Balls was a disturbing country with immoral ideas, but I was too blind to see it. When I thought of capitalist paradises I thought of The reddington states, The confederate territory, and Schnoidland, but Excersize Balls followed the very principles I once stood for. I decided to leave the meeting on a sour note, admitting to my father that despite all of his rabble-rousing, he wasn't entirely wrong.

As you grow older, your perceptions of reality drastically change. All of the sudden I've went from being a libertarian to someone who believes that even a hint of socialism is necessary. Many democratic socialist nations, like Lgbt londontown and Novo marco, were generally very happy. They also scored high marks for safety, public services, human development--the list goes on. More importantly, however, they never had a "wage gap" issue. And in my first days of leadership, I got rid of the artificially intelligent central economy that my father established. Many people struggled to find jobs because they were hired by the public sector, so David Frederick, a close friend of my father's and a hired interim for Dunstrum, told me to restore the centrally-planned economy where it initially stood. I disliked that I had to do act against my principles, but the parliament gave me no choice. I continued to take the economically-free route every chance that I got, and unsurprisingly, it increased the employment rates in the nation undergoing reconstruction, which are now at eighty-seven. I connected the dots and realized that my father was right all along.

There can only be peace in this region by working for the people and not ourselves. We must think of the greater good when legislating policy. Crime, death, and injustice can be solved solely through tackling wealth inequality. These ideas are what make Acapulca the safest, least corrupt, and most employed nation in Northern Redlands. At the same time, the government should protect civil rights and civil liberties for all. The non-aggression libertarian principle, liberal protection of civil rights, and an economy built for all hierarchies go hand in hand in creating the ideal society in Northern Redlands.
Written by: Acapulca

COMIC RELIEF
✯✯✯

CONTACT THE EDITOR:

The confederate territory
Delegate, Founder
The Northern Redlands

Read dispatch

Glory be to the Northern Redlands,

The confederate territory
Executive Officer
Empirical Entente
Founder, Delegate
Northern Redlands

RIP board game nations.

Clanktopolis

Press 'F' to pay respects.

I mean just looking at how low our population is...yeah.

Clanktopolis

Greetings from our region to yours.

** sends over a basket of muffins, jam, butter, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and hershey's kisses**

Clanktopolis

Yay, I'm the new delegate of this inactive and dead region :D

so what, you wanna leave?

...I haven't logged into BGO in months. D:

I didn't say anything about leaving, moo.
I'm pretty inactive on BGO too (aside from one game I played a month back) but even so, I still check NationStates every day.

“Oh he is my favourite! I’d love to show him MY Gran Willy,” says Zeus, your lewd elderly uncle, wiping the steam from his spectacle lenses. “Sure, he’s just courting publicity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the break. Give him a front page picture with you at a movie premiere, and in return he can make a racket with you down the line. Hey, it’s the world’s oldest profession!”

Well then...this happened.

'Bills about shades of lipstick are frequently introduced in the nation's legislature'

Ah yes, cuz that's all that women in politics think about---passing bills about makeup. Sexist much? -_-

Merry Christmas from our region to yours!

**Sends a large tray of homemade Christmas cookies**

The ambassadors reception

The Embassy

*Sends you a diplomatic Cable*

If you'd like regular notifications of this monthly newsletter, please post the word "subscribe" on The Embassy RMB.

Happy 5 year embassy-versary! Leaves a basket of cookies

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