Imperiale Neueste Nachrichten (INN)
Guten Abend meine Damen und Herren
< We report live from Konsul Steffen International Airport in Leestcheck, where the Imperial delegation, including Imperator Konsul Leo I. himself, has just returned from Loftegen 2. Unfortunately, there was no press conference and the Konsul and his entourage have left the airport quickly, citing "being very tired" as an excuse.
* Video feed from the airport, where a visibly tired Leo can be seen getting into a bus along with his staff and guard *
Thanks to our correspondent to Loftegen 2, Quarturio Elena Wei▀, we have gathered some interesting information regardless.
* Elena Wei▀ appears on screen, smiling, with Altenburg in the background *
"Elena, please tell us what you have learned." - "Yes of course, Sigrun. We have just gathered from our local colleagues at Altenburg Independent News that the local parliament, called the Council of Cantons, will vote on a treaty between the Imperium and the Republican Federation of Loftegen later today. The treaty was fleshed out between Konsul Leo and Prime Minister Ysar during the last couple of days, but needs to be ratified by the Council to come into force. We have learned that formally, the Prime Minister cannot even propose legislation, he merely can propose a topic to the Council "for consideration", which then has to initiate the legislative process on its own."
"Interesting. Quite different from here. For our viewers abroad: In the Imperium, legislation is usually proposed by the government and has to pass a vote in the Reichstag to come into force. Legislation which impacts the provinces also has to pass the Senat, the second chamber of parliament where the provinces are represented. The third chamber, the Konsulrat, can both propose and ratify legislation, but always needs the approval of the Reichstag or the Senat or even both for the law to come into force.
A simple internaitonal treaty such as the one discussed here merely needs to pass the Reichstag, which currently has 7000 seats, one Mitglied des Reichstags (MdR, Member of the Imperial Parliament in English) representing approximately 1 million citizens.
We have heard from colleagues in the Reichstag building that the chamber will vote on the treaty early next week. Preliminary reports assume a large majority in favour." >
Baoshing, Fluffiness, and Loftegen 2
Lily only has some 54 nations or so. Conquering them should be possible, albeit difficult. We would certainly need all the Allies we can get, the Lazarene Guard alone lacks the manpower for such an operation at present (Lazarus as a whole easily has enough nations, but not many are dedicated enough).
This should be a rallying call the Join the Lazarene Guard, the only means of keeping us safe (apart from endorsing Treadwellia, the most important defensive action any WA nation in Lazarus should perform!)
"Mmph mmph MMPH mmph?"
So huff-puffs Tubbius the Fat to Doctor Alvin Biggenbottom-Tubbius, His adopted and Tubbius-blessed second brother. It is time for a monthly examination in the doctor's office, so His Obesity wears just a red Tubbra and matching underwear as He carefully ascends the scale.
"Mmph mmph!" Twelve Tubbs! interrupts the question made as He waddles atop the machine. But do you know how many She is carrying, Alvin?
"Mmph mmph, mmph. Mmph mmph MMPH, mmph mmph, MMPH mmph. Mmph MMPH, mmph mmph mmph."
I don't. Scans of Her always show seven fat babies, about fully grown, regardless of how many Mother is carrying for Herself. She is divinely and magically special, helping others always in their pregnancies.
Lips quiver, leading to a wheezy stammer. "MMPH MMPH mmph, MMPH mmph?"
So She could end up with a dozen in Her own tummy, and We wouldn't know?
"MMPH!" accompanies a tightening of cold measuring tape under arms and baggy breasts, setting Tubbius shivering as metallic strip bites into flesh. No!
There is a pause. The doctor chuckles, bends in to study the tape, and continues. "Mmph MMPH mmph mmph MMPH mmph, mmph mmph!" Unless Mother's belly swells to hold the real number She carries, if it is more than seven!
Beady eyes widen, setting Tubbius' glasses slipping on that red, bulbous nose. "MMPH mmph mmph?"
If She does?
"MMPH mmph mmph mmph, MMPH mmph MMPH mmph!" precedes a friendly, playful slap to Tubbius' scarlet Tubbra. Then You ought to get used to daily using Her Magic to help Mother nurse the little crowd!
Another pat to the great "girls." "Mmph mmph, mmph! MMPH mmph mmph!"
In private, of course! You might even start tonight!"
Thus does Tubbius blush as red as His undergarments while said Alvin continues his examination of the royal roly-poly personage. Outside the office door, Mrs. Tubbius blushes as well, giggling softly and listening.
Poor Tubbius! He might have to get very good at filling and heating and giving bottles to get out of this one!
Beer leader and the twins are back from camping. No bears were harmed in the making of this film. Beers were definitely harmed though. Many casualties. The royal black panther missed beer leader immensely. Lady glitter sparkles and the littlest leader came yesterday to visit. They all went hiking and to find some butterflies, slugs, and snails. It was beautiful people, just so damn beautiful.
If y'all need something to listen to tonight or this morning or afternoon or really anytime, beer leader suggests the "tiny changes" album. The cover of frightened rabbits. Terribly moving.
Tonight finds Tubbius the Flabby, as predicted by Dr. Biggenbottom-Tubbius, unwillingly helping Mrs. Tubbius with the feeding of the children. He lost a bet about who would finish off the most ice cream at supper. Brain freeze hit His Obesity very hard before it hit Her Maternity, so She beat Him by two bowls of chocolate swirl ice cream. Thus, He has to help as requested with a little urging from Her Gravidity's Tubbius Magic.
What if He had won? Nothing! He would have had a lovely night of stuffing His tummy on ice cream. Now, though, His Rotundity is awkwardly getting reminded about how to properly support Baby Tubbius, who is very, very much tickling His poor, Portly Poppa while filling his little belly.
All in all, it is a most humiliating experience, made more so by His Immensity's examination of the ongoing Lazarus poll. Apparently, predictions about how many MORE children are due next year are running on the high side.
Oh, dear. Poor, poor Tubbius.
There! All is taken care of in the Treadwellian royal nursery. Tubbius and Mrs. Tubbius are now settling into bed, munching slowly on doughnuts and milk while Mrs. Tubbius turns on the television. Of course, the first thing that comes on is an educational special about properly caring for and feeding one's new baby.
A red-faced, sore-chested Chubbiness quickly swipes the remote and clicks to change the channel. He needs no lessons on any of that at the moment!
This reaction, of course, earns explosive, tummy-shaking merriment from Her Motherhood and, yes, eventually from the Corpulent Claus.
Sounds like he needs to train a little harder thinks beer leader while wrapping a package with dry ice and 5 pints of beer leader lambic sour cherry ice cream while marking it "tubbius, the portly papa aka se˝or claus" and leaving it for the beer leader postal service to deliver this afternoon.
Lady Zaharra contemplates offering to start some of the Holy Offspring on skeleton juice. She decides against doing so, though: while the Babies so fed would never drink milk again (amongst...other...results), Lady Zaharra really doesn't want to get coal in her stocking for the rest of her life. :P
Treadwellia, Baoshing, and Fluffiness
My proposal is faring well, so far! It's been deemed legal, and now has garnered 9 approvals. I hope I can hit the mark and put this proposal up to vote.
I am just kinda scared, honestly, about what Lily could bring.
The Talking Point
The government is crossing the Rubicon in its levels of corruption.
Hey, all I did was getting rid of a beloved mayor, wth?!-I didn┤t want to raise the term limits-policy, and my economy wouldn┤t have liked it if I were to follow the watchdog auntie, so I had to find an alternative solution.
Why do they* always blame it on the government?