LazarusBoard

Guiness Freaks wrote:

Beer leader is on a car trip with the twins to visit family. On the road he spies a massive red truck with the vanity plate "moose." Believing it to be our intrepid moose farmers, he attempts to gain their attention. He pulls up behind them and follows them to the exit they turn off at. Hoping to find the moose farm, he follows them. They stop at a non descript building marked only as "the bunny ranch." "Bunny ranch? I thought they farmed moose." Beer leader thinks. Quickly he instructs the twins to stay in the car and rushes into the building. Just as quickly he rushes back out. "That is NOT a moose farm" he tells the twins as they quickly drive off.

Moonlight bunnies are a very special breed; very costly to deal with and not for the faint of heart!

Your imaginary friend wrote:

Bunny Ranch sounds like a really weird salad dressing flavor!

Gonna need a tubbius ruling on this one.

Hmm yes potato yes

Sinyal, I've messaged you on discord but I need to go now.

Custadia wrote:

How does one go from being a pirate to being a moose farmer? Did he rustle a pair of mooses on a ship?

The capybara was struck down by mods before I had time to fetch my butterfly net :(

In the 19th century his pirate ship wrecked just off the coast of a heavily forested land... described as lush pine forests and moose a plenty. The remaining pirate survivors made it to shore but with no food they had to survive on what the land provided. My great great father's second cousin improvised (he was a chief by hobby) and hunted down moose, proceeded to cook them into stews. He got such positive feedback for his food that when they were rescued a number of weeks afterwards, he opted to return to that land and begin farming moose. Word got out to the greater family back at the native land and this inspired my great great father to move over and follow in his footsteps.

Custadia wrote:

How does one go from being a pirate to being a moose farmer? Did he rustle a pair of mooses on a ship?

The capybara was struck down by mods before I had time to fetch my butterfly net :(

Which is odd, because what he posted wasn't offensive at all, just a little weird.

Loftegen 2 wrote:

Which is odd, because what he posted wasn't offensive at all, just a little weird.

While Tubbius was not online to see the event, He speculates that the individual was posting it in numerous message boards in rapid succession to have drawn the wrath of the moderators.

Oh well. Minus one flying thing.

Altenburg Independent News

An Air Force transport departed for Leonism today, carrying most of the remaining NLO members from that country home to face justice. Only a few of the NLO wounded whose condition is still too serious to allow them to be moved remain, and they will sent home as soon as they are fit to travel. The only exception is the still unidentified R44 pilot whose ship crashed after striking a power pylon; he succumbed to his injuries, and the transport will take his remains home as well.

In happier news, a commercial airliner from Hycronesia landed in Blaumeisehaven with the first travellers from Loftegen 2 aboard. Most of the several dozen citizens of the Republican Federation are tourists, some are travelling for business, and a few are scholars. It is believed that they are the first of many, given the level of interest reported by various travel web sites and tour companies.

Tubbius the Rotund is about to wobble from the computer to the bed. His Immensity is sleepy and tired. He is also dressed in a suitably warm, fur-lined nightgown, given the now perpetual state of snowiness in Piggy Cliff (though not the rest of Treadwellia). Granted, His Immensity is also staying rather rumbly in the tummy, even more so than usual, with the influence of His Tubbius Magic over Piggy Cliff's local climate. It means His Heftiness is eating quite a bit more, pushing Himself to now Six Breakfasts before even First Lunch. Although the frequent, unconscious expenditures of Tubbius Magic are naturally burning some of the calories, Dr. Biggenbottom-Tubbius expects that The Chubby Caboose will soon become even chubbier as Tubbius becomes accustomed to this occasional, unbidden Magic use, thus seeing less actual exertion from it and feeling even less drain and fewer ill effects.

The doctor has already discussed the possibility of such things with Mrs. Tubbius, and both have agreed to watch with muffled glee the results. They have even started a private betting pool among the palace staff and the Bellies as to when His Rotundity will begin complaining about needing another trip to Tubbabies or to Big and Tubby because His clothes keep shrinking.

Loftegen 2 wrote:

Lazarus still wants to know what His Holy Heftitude's favorite type of Bunny Ranch™ dressing is: is it Perfumed Tart™ or Happy Harlot™?

Tubbius has not tried either of these. He is a little scared to learn about them!

Loftegen 2 wrote:

Because Her Gravidity would skin Him alive if He tried? :)

That's a LOT of skin!

Besides, His Adiposity has to consider His family! There are a lot already in the palace, with "MORE" on the way!