by Max Barry

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«12. . .2,3602,3612,3622,3632,3642,3652,366. . .2,3692,370»

Howard beale wrote:*A man walks into the cafe as he noticed the cat speaking.5

Who knows. Pretty good chance it’s waiting for you to move first. Anyway, how are you? Mind getting me a drink?

Meh. It really didn't move at all all this time.

Sure, what would you like?

Howard beale

Feline Masters wrote:Meh. It really didn't move at all all this time.

Sure, what would you like?

Can you make a Raktajino?

Howard beale wrote:Can you make a Raktajino?

Sure.

Steamed or iced?

Howard beale

Feline Masters wrote:Sure.

Steamed or iced?

Steamed please, Extra sweet with jacarine peel and Mapka bread.

If possible I would also enjoy the Breakfast special.

Howdy from Cheers 🥂!!

The grand puffle republic, Feline Masters, and Howard beale

A woman breezes into the diner and seems to dust herself off before taking a seat.

The grand puffle republic, Feline Masters, and Howard beale

Howard beale wrote:Steamed please, Extra sweet with jacarine peel and Mapka bread.

If possible I would also enjoy the Breakfast special.

Here you go!

Sam malone wrote:Howdy from Cheers 🥂!!

Hello! What would you like to have?

Eris Discordia wrote:A woman breezes into the diner and seems to dust herself off before taking a seat.

Wow, it looks like our business is picking up speed again. What would you like, ma'am? Also, could you pet me? I haven't had human contact in a long while due to social distancing issues. I never thought I would miss playing with stupid humans, but here we go.

Eris Discordia and Howard beale

Feline Masters wrote:Here you go!

Hello! What would you like to have?

Wow, it looks like our business is picking up speed again. What would you like, ma'am? Also, could you pet me? I haven't had human contact in a long while due to social distancing issues. I never thought I would miss playing with stupid humans, but here we go.

Thanks. If you don’t mind me asking, how is it that you are sentient? The only other cat I know who is sentient resides at the bar?

Howard beale wrote:Thanks. If you don’t mind me asking, how is it that you are sentient? The only other cat I know who is sentient resides at the bar?

BONES! What have you been up to? How's the Enterprise, chief?

Feline Masters and Howard beale

Catherania wrote:BONES! What have you been up to? How's the Enterprise, chief?

Fine. Still stuck out in the darkness of space with diseases, insane star empires and pirates. Jim keeps getting himself in to trouble aswell. I have to keep telling him “I am a doctor Jim, not a redshirt”.

Catherania

Howard beale wrote:Thanks. If you don’t mind me asking, how is it that you are sentient? The only other cat I know who is sentient resides at the bar?

Is this a joke? If lowly humans are sentient, why can't cats be? Even bugs are sentient.

Oh wait, you mean that I am speaking? This has nothing to do with sentience though. Precisely the confusion that I would expect from a human, however.

Eris Discordia and Howard beale

Feline Masters wrote:Wow, it looks like our business is picking up speed again. What would you like, ma'am? Also, could you pet me? I haven't had human contact in a long while due to social distancing issues. I never thought I would miss playing with stupid humans, but here we go.

The dessert looks rather nice, if you don't mind; that faint bitter almond taste should compliment the sweetness of the apples.

I'd also love to pet you. I was staying in a lovely hotel with a lot of cats, but I unfortunately had to check out.

Feline Masters and Howard beale

Eris Discordia wrote:The dessert looks rather nice, if you don't mind; that faint bitter almond taste should compliment the sweetness of the apples.

I'd also love to pet you. I was staying in a lovely hotel with a lot of cats, but I unfortunately had to check out.

What brings you here?

Howard beale wrote:What brings you here?

The coffee, mostly. I heard it was rather impressive.

Feline Masters and Howard beale

Eris Discordia wrote:The dessert looks rather nice, if you don't mind; that faint bitter almond taste should compliment the sweetness of the apples.

I'd also love to pet you. I was staying in a lovely hotel with a lot of cats, but I unfortunately had to check out.

Meow, thanks! But you mean complement, not compliment.

Eris Discordia wrote:The coffee, mostly. I heard it was rather impressive.

It IS! Want some?

Eris Discordia wrote:The coffee, mostly. I heard it was rather impressive.

That it is. They make the best raktijino.

Feline Masters wrote:Meow, thanks! But you mean complement, not compliment.

I did. Tsk tsk.

Feline Masters wrote:It IS! Want some?

I would love some!

Eris Discordia wrote:

I would love some!

Coming up!

Feline Masters wrote:Coming up!

Thank you.

While she waits for the coffee, she quietly reads the local paper.

Eris Discordia wrote:Thank you.

While she waits for the coffee, she quietly reads the local paper.

Here you go!

*pushes the coffee on the counter towards the customer*

Sorry, I don't have opposable thumbs so you need to pick it up.

Feline Masters wrote:Here you go!

*pushes the coffee on the counter towards the customer*

Sorry, I don't have opposable thumbs so you need to pick it up.

She scratches the kitty's ears.

"I'm pretty sure you're doing better than I would if I suddenly lost my thumbs. I would never be able to give anyone the bird ever again!"

*Kitty walks into the shop, somehow opening the door despite his height*

Hallo? Is this establishment open?

Feline Masters, Eris Discordia, and Howard beale

Kitty Hitler wrote:*Kitty walks into the shop, somehow opening the door despite his height*

Hallo? Is this establishment open?

Oh, another felis domesticus here.

Yes, we are open, buddy. Did you want something?

Feline Masters wrote:Oh, another felis domesticus here.

Yes, we are open, buddy. Did you want something?

Ah, a trustworthy compatriot, do you work here? I would just like a cup of tea and a biscuit

*pays the bill and leaves a tip before departing*

«12. . .2,3602,3612,3622,3632,3642,3652,366. . .2,3692,370»

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