Guten morgen TSP! Is everyone having a fine day?
*throws stollen at you*
*firmly attaches mug of hot chocolate to your hand*
1) I guess...
3) oh, well thanks
4) slowly takes away your clock
Merry Christmas to you!
*hoses lebkuchen upon you*
*rains gingerbread cookies over you*
*hits you with Christmas pudding*
*launches gingerbread men/women at you*
*fires gingerbread house out of a cannon towards you*
Morning und MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!
*shoots some stollen at you with slingshot*
*beats you on the head with candy cane*
*shoves Christmas donuts onto your face*
*hands you some stollen*
Hallo! I am indeed having a splendid Christmas (Sorry it took a while to respond, was responding to all these other posts)
*arrives crudely bandaged and limping, pushing a hand truck holding a large case, flips the latches on it's top and the side drops open revealing Da Vinci's "La Gioconda"*
I'm afraid that Parker won't be joining us any time soon, if at all. The holographic projector that masked the missing painting started acting up and failed, alerting the Gendarmerie Nationale, unbeknownst to us, so she stayed to repair it giving us time to escape before they could arrive. They shot her several times and she fell from a great height when she released her grasp on the rope. So, I hope that you enjoy what she sacrificed her life to bring to you.
As my Christmas gift to The South Pacific, I thought that I would fill its Erinor Museum of Fine Art with the artwork worthy of such an institution. So I planned and executed the The 25 Art Thefts of Christmas to fill the Museum with the finest and most expensive art work to be found in the world. I placed one piece in the Museum, per day, leading up to Christmas, to with:
The Bathers by Cezanne
The Persistence of Memory, by Dali
The Dance, by Matisse
The Kiss, by Klimt
The Sleeping Gypsy, by Rousseau
The Last Judgement, by Hieronymus Bosch
The Night Watch, by Rembrandt
Massacre of the Innocents by Rubens
No 5, 1948, by Jackson Pollak
Bal du moulin de la Galette, by Renoir
Water Lilies, by Monet
The Scream, by Edvard Munch
Arrangement in Grey and Black No.1, by James Whistler
American Gothic, by Grant Wood
Portrait of Dora Maar, 1937, by Pablo Picasso
The Starry Night, by Vincent Van Gogh
Olympia, by Édouard Manet
The Third of May 1808 (aka The Executions), by Francisco Goya
Girl with a Pearl Earring, by Johannes Vermeer
The Birth of Venus, by Sandro Botticelli
Nighthawks, by Edward Hopper
Las Meninas, by Diego Velázquez
Landscape with the Fall of Icarus, by Pieter Bruegel
The Sistine Madonna, by Raphael Santi
La Gioconda (aka The Mona Lisa), by Leonardo Da Vinci
Curly: "Hey Moe my brother, any props for the gift Larry and I got you?"
Larry: "The Soap on a Rope in the shape of Howard Stern???"
Curly: "Even better Larry my little coolie head! I found the last available official Fart Launcher!!! Holy crap Moe, think of the raw power!!!!!!!"
Moe: "I think I like this one, c'mere...."
Curly: "Awwww Moe, nothing like a magnified and magnificent fart machine!!!!"
Hm. So no presents?
OMG! I literally got Disney+ today as a gift and I am dying! Dying! So first I watched Noelle with my mom and grandma and aunt because, I mean, when I see Anna Kendrick I click, no questions asked. Then my aunt and I watched some Kristen Bell reality show about people re-doing high school musical productions like 20 years later and it was just as embarrassing to watch as it must have been for the people in it (we both love it), and now I'm watching Endgame again because I'm dying. Dying! Ah! What even?!
Sir, you just auditioned for a production of Annie by making lewd jokes and displaying aggressive and violent tendencies in front of schoolgirls.
Of course you passed! Welcome to Broadway!