The Finnish Nation of Hazahmkong is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by PM Terio with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.653 billion Hazahmkongians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helsinki. The average income tax rate is 68.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Hazahmkongian economy, worth 250 trillion Hazahm Pounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,457 Hazahm Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens select which government department gets their income tax Hazahm Pounds each year, Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, and hunters often become the hunted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hazahmkong's national animal is the Beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Hazahmkong is ranked 9,843^rd in the world and 284^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 55.65 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.