by Max Barry

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The TP State of Cornholiolands

“I need teepee for my bunghole”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Cornholiolands

Population2.708 billion

CapitalCornopolis
LeaderCornholio
FaithCornholioism

CurrencyTeepee
AnimalCorn

The TP State of Cornholiolands is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Cornholio with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ubiquitous missile silos, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.708 billion Cornholios are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cornopolis. The average income tax rate is 30.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Cornholiolandsian economy, worth 333 trillion Teepees a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 123,093 Teepees, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation, major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings, many politicians are serving jail time for minor drug offenses, and hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cornholiolands's national animal is the Corn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cornholioism.

Cornholiolands is ranked 94,044th in the world and 1,636th in The East Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 2,568.39 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,745thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,980thMost Influential: 4,663rdFattest Citizens: 7,321stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,344thLargest Mining Sector: 8,623rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,767thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 13,871stTop
10%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 14,763rdLargest Retail Industry: 14,876thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16,709thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17,251stMost Secular: 19,653rdMost Conservative: 19,680thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 23,769thMost Corrupt Governments: 25,658thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 28,268thMost Patriotic: 28,976th
Top
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 54th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 83rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 95th in the regionFattest Citizens: 97th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 140th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 207th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 257th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 276th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 286th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 311th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 318th in the regionMost Influential: 318th in the regionMost Avoided: 358th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 362nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 362nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 400th in the regionMost Secular: 416th in the regionMost Conservative: 436th in the regionMost Patriotic: 453rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 490th in the regionMost Armed: 514th in the region

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