The Community of East Texia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.361 billion East Texians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tyler. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.3%.

The powerhouse East Texian economy, worth a remarkable 1,007 trillion shells a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 97,283 shells, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 571,902 per year while the poor average 7,711, a ratio of 74.2 to 1.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges, law schools are hurrying to teach the "prank defense" to their students, and even the most lowly council pen-pusher has the same political power as a senior minister. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. East Texia's national animal is the penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

East Texia is ranked 279,636^th in the world and 17,484^th in Chicken overlords for Safest, scoring 5.4 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.