The Anti-Harry Potter Prison of Eta Carinae is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Sauron with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, pith helmet sales, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 46.425 billion Eta Carinaeans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Environment, Spirituality, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dark Tower. The average income tax rate is 5.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Eta Carinaean economy, worth an astonishing 16,210 trillion nazgs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 349,181 nazgs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

At the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold, anti-tourism militias patrol the borders, anti-environmentalist dissidents must beware of government plants in their midst, and truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Eta Carinae's national animal is the orc, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Morgothism.

Eta Carinae is ranked 3,359^th in the world and 3^rd in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.02 law-abiding acts per hour.