The Federal Republic of Tesco Aisle 17 is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Lord Tesco with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, national health service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 783 million Tesconians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garden City. The average income tax rate is 46.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tesconian economy, worth 78.7 trillion Meal Deals a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 100,480 Meal Deals, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

College athletes are arrested for selling lemonade, the nation is noticeably more cheerful on Tuesdays, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and Lord Tesco has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tesco Aisle 17's national animal is the Clubcard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tesco Aisle 17 is ranked 67,805^th in the world and 1,953^rd in The North Pacific for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 112.46 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.