The Empire of Caldarra is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Inigo Montoya with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.505 billion Caldarrans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bella Caldarra City. The average income tax rate is 80.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Caldarran economy, worth 307 trillion lire a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 122,711 lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, fishermen take out second mortgages to afford the yearly fishing permit, and large areas of Caldarra are not accessible by the public. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caldarra's national animal is the Tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Caldarra is ranked 24,565^th in the world and 1,332^nd in Balder for Safest, scoring 111.74 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.