The Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Grachtalan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dennis the Constitutional Peasant with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, compulsory military service, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 32.296 billion Suckers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Education, Defense, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of It's Only a Model. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 60.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Grachtalanian economy, worth an astonishing 13,137 trillion flubbers a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 406,795 flubbers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,190,143 per year while the poor average 109,738, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

Newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, prison libraries are being replaced with interrogation chambers, collisions between bicycles and carnival floats are on the rise, and punk-rockers and girl-bands are united in their loss of fashion statements. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grachtalan's national animal is the rat in a dress, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Religionism.

Grachtalan is ranked 1,124^th in the world and 1^st in Miscreants for Lowest Crime Rates, with 166.85 law-abiding acts per hour.