The Holy Empire of Guyomartand is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Hallowed Emperor Charles Henston with an iron fist, and notable for its triple-decker prams, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.87 billion Guyomartandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Imperialis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Guyomartandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,134 trillion Chromia Credits a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 310,717 Chromia Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death, the nation has always been at war with Moltovea, and citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guyomartand's national animal is the Guyomartandian Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Guyomartand is ranked 10,690^th in the world and 591^st in The North Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 6,367.59 on the Hickory Productivity Index.