The Holy Empire of Guyomartand is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Hallowed Emperor Charles Henston with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, strictly enforced bedtime, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.526 billion Guyomartandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Imperialis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Guyomartandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,803 trillion Chromia Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 328,822 Chromia Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, the government confiscates candy from babies for 'the greater good' of the nation, citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon, and the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guyomartand's national animal is the Guyomartandian Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Guyomartand is ranked 5,238^th in the world and 316^th in The North Pacific for Best Weather, with 300 Meters Of Sunlight.