The Commonwealth of Handal Ands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Henrik Litzinger with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 14.137 billion Handal Andsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luxich Chist Grontier. The average income tax rate is 51.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Handal Andsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,462 trillion Chistes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 315,626 Chistes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

This year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, bars are packed at all hours, it is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander, and blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Handal Ands's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Handal Ands is ranked 21,338^th in the world and 7^th in Union of Allied States for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 7,785.02 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.