The Republic of Ohlau is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Miron Blumsztajn with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.256 billion Ohlauans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oława. The average income tax rate is 94.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ohlauan economy, worth a remarkable 1,037 trillion livres a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 125,653 livres, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, school cafeterias serve nothing but protein powder and vitamin supplements, military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives, and guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ohlau's national animal is the swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pantheism.

Ohlau is ranked 289,373^rd in the world and 4,118^th in the Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -23.14 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.