The Ambulatory Corpse Nation of Johoichim is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Audio-animatronic Abraham Lincoln with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, ritual sacrifices, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.644 billion Johoichimites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eaeuyaueghe. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Johoichimian economy, worth a remarkable 3,770 trillion ding dong a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Gambling, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 182,652 ding dong, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Nations that kill a Johoichimite can expect a strongly worded letter, they say marriage really does shorten your life, imprisonment is the leading cause of disownment, and family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Johoichim's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Children of the All Knowing.

Johoichim is ranked 6,495^th in the world and 145^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 9,861.25 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.