The Sultanate of Goldbergya is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Galahad with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 4.98 billion Goldbergyans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of BlackFord. The average income tax rate is 71.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goldbergyan economy, worth 774 trillion Bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 155,459 Bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children of nonreligious parents are often barred from school festival events, government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest, cars have been banned, and the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldbergya's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Goldbergya is ranked 3,134^th in the world and 75^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 65.12 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.