by Max Barry

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The Democratic Republic of Kongoland

“By the people, for the people.”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
World Benchmark
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: The Leftist Assembly

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kongoland

Population3.766 billion

CapitalUmpala
LeaderPresident Thomas Masire

Currencydollar
Animalbison

The Democratic Republic of Kongoland is a massive, genial nation, ruled by President Thomas Masire with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 3.766 billion Kongolese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Umpala. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kongo economy, worth 509 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an impressive 135,257 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shady doctors seem to have impeccable records, government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, and being President Thomas Masire has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kongoland's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kongoland is ranked 240,229th in the world and 499th in The Leftist Assembly for Rudest Citizens, with 5.47 Insults Per Minute.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 1,320thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,442ndNicest Citizens: 1,605thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,635thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,668thMost Influential: 1,732ndMost Pacifist: 1,740thMost Inclusive: 1,767thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,895thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,102ndBest Weather: 2,207thTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,575thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,762ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,197thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,278thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,411thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,426thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,587thSafest: 3,738thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,095thMost Developed: 4,690thHealthiest Citizens: 4,726thLargest Governments: 5,283rdLowest Crime Rates: 5,786thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,872ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,462ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,540thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,905thMost Secular: 6,967thSmartest Citizens: 7,062ndMost Subsidized Industry: 11,106thTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 12,156thMost Cultured: 12,437thMost Efficient Economies: 14,932ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 16,778thHighest Average Incomes: 18,089thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 22,521st
Top
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 17th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 20th in the regionMost Inclusive: 23rd in the regionMost Pacifist: 24th in the regionMost Influential: 25th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 25th in the regionNicest Citizens: 25th in the regionTop
10%
Best Weather: 26th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 29th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 30th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 30th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 31st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 32nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 32nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 34th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 34th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 35th in the regionMost Stationary: 36th in the regionLargest Governments: 38th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 39th in the regionSafest: 39th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 40th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 42nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 45th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 45th in the regionMost Developed: 47th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 49th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 50th in the region

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