The United Socialist States of Martilliopen is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by the General Confederation of Labour with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.669 billion Martilliopenians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Martilliopenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,795 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 207,155 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in the General Confederation of Labour's bedroom, youth rights demonstrations often end in vicious snowball fights, and fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Martilliopen's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Martilliopen is ranked 1,549^th in the world and 9^th in The Leftist Assembly for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 73.9 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.