The Democratic Minion's Republic of The Haughtherlands is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Sponge Joseth Spongister with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.468 billion Theditch enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liquorice Lagoon. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Theditch economy, worth 666 trillion Sponge Sterlings a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,995 Sponge Sterlings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The internet has been placed under government control, the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, Supreme Sponge Joseth Spongister can cry on demand, and customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Haughtherlands's national animal is the Kitchen Sponge, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spongism.

The Haughtherlands is ranked 71,041^st in the world and 1,236^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 19.76 flags saluted per person per day.