The Constitutional Kingdom of New Laikland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Konungur Ægir Þórbjörnsson with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 16.837 billion Laiklanders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fligheim. The average income tax rate is 6.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laiklandic economy, worth a remarkable 2,564 trillion Krónas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 152,331 Krónas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, the entire entry for New Laikland in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless', and war vets look after war animals. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. New Laikland's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Laiklandic Orthodox.

New Laikland is ranked 46,234^th in the world and 11^th in Union of Nationalists for Most Patriotic, with 29.21 flags saluted per person per day.