by Max Barry

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The Mindful Recollections of Oogway

“You must believe.”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Contender

Location: Valley of Peace

OverviewMapDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Oogway

Population4.508 billion

CapitalValley of Peace
LeaderGrandmaster Oogway
FaithTaoism

CurrencyWu Zhu
AnimalGalapagos turtle

The Mindful Recollections of Oogway is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Grandmaster Oogway with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.508 billion Kung Fu Masters are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valley of Peace. The average income tax rate is 92.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Oogwayian economy, worth 556 trillion Wu Zhus a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 123,532 Wu Zhus, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank, lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, and the official Oogwayian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oogway's national animal is the Galapagos turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Taoism.

Oogway is ranked 4,245th in the world and 8th in Valley of Peace for Safest, scoring 133.6 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Top
5%
Most Pacifist: 3,844thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,915thSafest: 4,245thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,367thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,607thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,002ndMost Influential: 5,297thBest Weather: 5,764thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,786thNicest Citizens: 7,016thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,050thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,380thMost Inclusive: 7,506thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,677thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,934thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,078thLongest Average Lifespans: 8,250thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,381stMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,936thHighest Food Quality: 9,047thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,469thHealthiest Citizens: 9,803rdMost Developed: 9,880thLargest Governments: 11,862ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 12,061stSmartest Citizens: 12,603rdHighest Poor Incomes: 12,935thLowest Crime Rates: 13,494thMost Cultured: 14,531stTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 16,583rdMost Income Equality: 18,022ndMost Subsidized Industry: 20,724thLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,993rdMost Rebellious Youth: 23,351st
Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 4th in the regionMost Pacifist: 5th in the regionBest Weather: 5th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 6th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 6th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 7th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionSafest: 8th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Governments: 9th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 9th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 9th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Inclusive: 10th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10th in the regionNicest Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Developed: 12th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 12th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionMost Cultured: 15th in the regionLargest Populations: 15th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 15th in the regionMost Stationary: 16th in the regionMost Income Equality: 17th in the region

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