The Kaiserreich of Palcania is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 704 million Palcanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nordston. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Palcanian economy, worth 70.7 trillion Hektes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 100,443 Hektes, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Vats of anabolic steroids are being dumped into the ocean to make Palcanian mussels the biggest in the South Pacific, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, anyone can get ahead in life if they want to, and billions of Hektes are being poured into a space program. Crime is almost non-existent. Palcania's national animal is the Black Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Palcania is ranked 61,124^th in the world and 2,015^th in the South Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 87.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.