The Republic of Topsonia is a huge, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, disturbing lack of elderly people, and suspicion of poets. The cynical population of 715 million Topsons are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Topson. The average income tax rate is 31.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Topsonian economy, worth 38.4 trillion marts a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,697 marts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, artists attempt to convince the Hardship Fund that their unmade bed is a masterpiece, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, and Topsonia has designated Topson as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Topsonia's national animal is the horse, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Topsonia is ranked 183,639^th in the world and 3,200^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.