The Republic of Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33 is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its punitive income tax rates, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 5.924 billion Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 52.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33ian economy, worth 42.8 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Furniture Restoration, Pizza Delivery, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 7,219 deniers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal to make racist remarks in public, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, organ donation is compulsory, and foreign lack of enthusiasm for Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33ian nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33's national animal is the falcon.

Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 33 is ranked 100,778^th in the world and 41^st in Devide by Zero for Safest, scoring 81.8 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.