The Free Land of Gabrielium is a very large, cultured nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 165 million Gabrieliumians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 6.2%.

The powerhouse Gabrieliumian economy, worth 14.6 trillion satoshi a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is 88,689 satoshi, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes, and the police have been swamped with requests to stay up past bedtime. Crime is moderate. Gabrielium's national animal is the onça, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Gabrielium is ranked 26,260^th in the world and 7^th in Free Market Federation for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 52.91 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.