by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Bruuman Protectorate of Puerto Pollo

“Pappapishu!” El Pollo Diablo

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Puerto Pollo

Population21.888 billion

CapitalDanjer Cove
LeaderEl Pollo Diablo
FaithSecular Agnosticism

CurrencyIpecacuanha
AnimalSouth Pacific Feral Chicken

The Bruuman Protectorate of Puerto Pollo is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by El Pollo Diablo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, digital currency, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.888 billion Puerto Polloans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Danjer Cove. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Puerto Polloan economy, worth a remarkable 5,644 trillion Ipecacuanhas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 257,876 Ipecacuanhas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions, there'll be no comeback tour for many former boy bands, police nightsticks see use all day long, and half-submerged and flooded seaside hotels are technically still next to the beach. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Puerto Pollo's national animal is the South Pacific Feral Chicken, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Secular Agnosticism.

Puerto Pollo is ranked 291,360th in the world and 5,506th in the South Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -20.39 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 218thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 249thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 264thLargest Black Market: 745thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 927thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,035thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,108thLowest Crime Rates: 1,114thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,310thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,687thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,931stMost Subsidized Industry: 2,010thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,256thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,273rdLargest Welfare Programs: 2,398thLargest Governments: 2,680thHighest Economic Output: 2,735thTop
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 3,394thHealthiest Citizens: 3,873rdBest Weather: 4,235thMost Developed: 4,552ndHighest Poor Incomes: 4,881stHighest Average Incomes: 4,913thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,763rdHighest Food Quality: 7,768thSmartest Citizens: 9,483rdMost Cultured: 9,842ndMost Secular: 10,820thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,293rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,842ndMost Inclusive: 12,133rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,544thMost Influential: 13,284thLargest Populations: 13,379thMost Efficient Economies: 14,666thTop
10%
Most Patriotic: 15,078thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,100thMost Valuable International Artwork: 17,893rdMost Authoritarian: 18,867thLargest Information Technology Sector: 19,490th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 17th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 25th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 26th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 27th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 33rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 36th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 38th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 51st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 52nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 54th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Governments: 56th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 62nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 86th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 94th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 99th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 109th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 115th in the regionMost Developed: 121st in the regionBest Weather: 124th in the regionLargest Populations: 148th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 172nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 186th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 210th in the regionMost Secular: 237th in the regionMost Cultured: 240th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 247th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 257th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 270th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 275th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 281st in the regionMost Patriotic: 305th in the regionMost Inclusive: 360th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 446th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 455th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Education, Largest Black Market, Highest Foreign Aid Spending, and Highest Economic Output and the Top 5% for Highest Average Incomes.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Influential.
  • : Following new legislation in Puerto Pollo, half-submerged and flooded seaside hotels are technically still next to the beach.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Survivors.
  • : Following new legislation in Puerto Pollo, police nightsticks see use all day long.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Influential.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Puerto Pollo was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.

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