by Max Barry

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The Unpleasant Drainpipe of Gurou

“It's all over”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Page

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Gurou

Population12.862 billion

CapitalWiyNei
LeaderBronzefishy
FaithWorship of Omnipotent Danger Noodle

CurrencyIousy
AnimalDeadly Garden Snake

The Unpleasant Drainpipe of Gurou is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Bronzefishy with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.862 billion Gurouans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of WiyNei. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Gurouan economy, worth a remarkable 3,086 trillion Iousies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 239,959 Iousies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats, children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job', and doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gurou's national animal is the Deadly Garden Snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Worship of Omnipotent Danger Noodle.

Gurou is ranked 278,202nd in the world and 5,877th in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -10.68 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 359thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 445thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 545thMost Influential: 957thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,145thLargest Black Market: 1,566thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,918thTop
5%
Most Secular: 3,382ndHighest Poor Incomes: 3,486thMost Patriotic: 4,039thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,467thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,934thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,755thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,056thHighest Average Incomes: 6,220thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,383rdLargest Governments: 6,534thLowest Crime Rates: 6,606thHighest Economic Output: 7,101stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,190thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,995thMost Developed: 10,474thMost Stationary: 11,262ndLongest Average Lifespans: 12,078thMost Beautiful Environments: 13,584thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 14,745thLargest Mining Sector: 18,460thSmartest Citizens: 19,390thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,904thMost Subsidized Industry: 25,616th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 20th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 21st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 43rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 49th in the regionTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 108th in the regionMost Secular: 130th in the regionMost Patriotic: 135th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 149th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 205th in the regionMost Influential: 209th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 214th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 220th in the regionMost Stationary: 233rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 234th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 240th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 240th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 254th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 285th in the regionLargest Governments: 297th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 304th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 311th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 416th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 432nd in the regionMost Developed: 522nd in the regionLargest Populations: 536th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 604th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 635th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 269 » Corfad, Siwale, Shibutani, PlanetPunk, Koda-Land, Empy, Wineclaw, Pallaith, Zeternia, Kwaj, Frances Francis the First of France, Former English Colony, Ethnon, Malta Comino Gozo, Sil Dorsett, Maott, Xentherida, New Trisone, Wilkshire, The Iron Lions, The Rhein States, Great Bights Mum, Vexilia, Chukstik Illahi, AGoodPlace, Elevation, Vincone Cae, Votak Matim, North Bratislava, Walter Jackson, Cloydicia, Omnistria, Dreadton, Pavlikstan, Unsophisticate, Soviet Terran, Ninjak30, The Windmilluminati, Yukti, Pasargad, The Sinclarian Provinces, Solmetria, Panama Coalition, Trillius, Acrabinnia, Unimaginable Doom, Loutsland, Seenvorland, Felpolandia, PotatoFarmers, and 219 others.Kranostav, Zyvetskistaahn, Necromonia, Lemonbiscuits, Nationeer, Merconitonitopia, Xagill, Antiyard, Nistriabar, Unshleepd, Sikol, Prydania, Simone Republic, Bankowiata, Ozstan, The Jerichowan Country, AmManies, Andanavia, Advancia-Sizzletown, Hellsinky, Holy Marcus Empire, Aeolist, Parpyduckland, KAP03land, Cobolica, Bornodia, Regallio, The Arverni Lands, Tehmistan, GPT-3, Dacian Freelands, Bagojo, Inspiratus, Oannia, Fengate, A Salmon Named Harold, 2 and 2 is Fish, Eraver, Thought Obliteration, Dicko, The Bikini Bottom Republic, Laxoimia, Fratanica, Aeurithianar, Free State Of Wrangler Island, Varisland, Hai Han, The Peoples Republic of Kyle, Azzarel, Perikuresu, Randoes, Phoronu, Esteneng, The Austro Germanic Union, Karazan, Very Pog, Gragadoia, Filibustra, Arucaria, Old Emporia, Intelbrazia, Coutdown, Scres Gidgerland, Rainengrad, Katuda, Laurendon, Toli, Batatoland Empire, Loptous, Keb Numar, Pleroma Sans Romans, Atrito, The Unicrons, Omicron Persei V111, Khoik, Singamadri, Amdupe, Sechiole, TyGerria, TheLandOfFunFunFun, Intion North, Radicaster, Wolffoxia, Chipoli, New-Ferytland, Russila, Transitional Global Authority, Darkanistan, Racoda, Aguaria Major, Technocratic-european Countries, Austro-Bavarian States, Harjad, Vlenkenov, Dem Republic of Romania, Laforeia, PlanetMercury, Kandorith, Pyos Ter, New Lakemba, Nouvel Empire, Jeltronian WA Mission, Ellbonnia, IHateRights, Gorundu, Esperonia, Territorio di Nessuno, Zerentopia, Snipland, Southern Moosetopia, Aurasreich, Andstions, Rex Republic, Marlducro, Catalis, Love Shack, Etanur, South Parter, Deliber, Northern-Kempia, New Atlantico, TamilPesum, The Secret Society of Zimbabwae2, Bjorkikistan, Ishtimbine, Frieszia, Pinky Queen, Dakota Territories, Kingdom of Time, Roman Empire August, Rinadia, Valentine Z, Alire, Petronellania, Workers Republic of Prestes Order, Bedsonya, Ayuzhhhhh, Tanushland, Alogiada, Calahy, Ovekisu, Great Ignesia, Blyskalia, Bodhisva, Notyoutopia, Castle In Confidence, Federation of Vanguard, Tugupaw, Inclement Space, Grith Neria, DarkMondoria, CyberEgypt, Jenha, Izern, Democratic Republic of Magley, Kaiser Dominance, Sindoesia, Crilland, Republiqueducroissant, Bardopia, Mortionia, Leone Frankia, Neutral Federation of the Mountains, Aerilia, Zandos, Eurocom, Hyphen, Neptunian Military Administration, Mystiquelle, Western Justice, Latin Crimea, Armonker, United Orange Valley States, Segesta, Illusia and Neverendia, Norwegian FOREST Cat, Ereena, Furballland, Verderiesdre, Kyroth Dreemurr, McMasterdonia, Luminerra, Arostica, Kainin, Valiacorkit, Eludmonden, Lugarvatn, Fragrancia, CzechoSaxony, Pribaltic Union, Barxa, Halsoni, Germanic Cat, Texaska, United Kahndaq, Altivia, Aoncarpa, The New Oceanic States, Ardok, Crownz Capital, Vancricia, Francois Isidore, Opis, Eralan, Ubeland, The Resoland, Suvarnavarta, Yaorozu, Dillimore, Davidianian, Picairn, Tragesch Firwat, AnnaK, Northern Zorbrasnka, Yokciq Empire, Comfed, Bhadeshistan, Stal Valley, and Hikki.

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