The Empire of Russian Oil is a gargantuan, genial nation, notable for its infamous sell-swords, zero percent divorce rate, and public floggings. The compassionate, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 27.759 billion Russian Oilians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 38.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Russian Oilian economy, worth an astonishing 11,496 trillion Roubles a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 414,155 Roubles, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, former arsonists can be found on local fire brigades, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, and bureaucrats close new businesses for not complying with the Penguin Packaging Index. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Russian Oil's national animal is the Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Russian Oil is ranked 69,219^th in the world and 1,600^th in the South Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 441.7 on the Clooney Contribution Index.