The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 98 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.754 billion Second Best Puppet 98ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 83.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 98ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,176 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 174,122 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones, rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century, and the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 98's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 98 is ranked 10,087^th in the world and 297^th in Two for Most Corrupt Governments, with 154.63 kickbacks per hour.