The Boozer of Sozzled Santa is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Rudolph with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, enslaved workforce, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.817 billion Sozzled Santans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polaris. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sozzled Santan economy, worth a remarkable 3,272 trillion Silver sixpences a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 236,859 Silver sixpences, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, handling people's data is proving an immersive experience, and East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sozzled Santa's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sleighism.

Sozzled Santa is ranked 10,133^rd in the world and 1^st in Doll Guldur for Lowest Crime Rates, with 100.82 law-abiding acts per hour.