The Strictly Neutral Republic of Spaztislavia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Stanislav Voldzicky with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.82 billion Spaztovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Defense receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Srosrka Nova. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Spaztislavian economy, worth a remarkable 5,166 trillion Mints a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 226,401 Mints, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives, human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants, expectant parents view twins with equal parts joy and suspicion, and the government funds large training centres to turn giant bats into functioning members of society. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spaztislavia's national animal is the giant bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Spatizlavia's Catholic Church.

Spaztislavia is ranked 10,196^th in the world and 1^st in Distant Continent for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,800.8 on the Clooney Contribution Index.