by Max Barry

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The State-Mandated Utopia of Tobelade

“Get off my property.” Tobias

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Confederation of Corrupt Dictators

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Tobelade

Population20.027 billion

CapitalGlorious Tobias Utopialand
LeaderTobias
FaithTobism

CurrencyCap
AnimalGreat Plains Radscorpion

The State-Mandated Utopia of Tobelade is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tobias with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.027 billion Tobeladians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Glorious Tobias Utopialand. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Tobeladian economy, worth a remarkable 7,096 trillion Caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 354,350 Caps, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,926,670 per year while the poor average 8,814, a ratio of 332 to 1.

Education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?", grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer, no one knows how to tie a reef knot, and good-looking doctors are obliged by law to give foot rubs to Tobias. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Tobelade's national animal is the Great Plains Radscorpion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tobism.

Tobelade is ranked 1,506th in the world and 9th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Most Armed, with 16.28 Weapons Per Person.

Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 241stLargest Gambling Industry: 378thHighest Disposable Incomes: 382ndLargest Insurance Industry: 444thMost Avoided: 502ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 583rdMost Corrupt Governments: 682ndLargest Mining Sector: 719thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 721stFattest Citizens: 733rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 786thHighest Economic Output: 810thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 832ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,021stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,048thHighest Average Incomes: 1,049thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,063rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,125thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,416thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,483rdMost Armed: 1,506thTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1,776thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,982ndLargest Retail Industry: 2,668thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,000thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,049thMost Devout: 3,358thMost Efficient Economies: 3,671stMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,699thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,175thLargest Black Market: 4,703rdLargest Governments: 5,428thLargest Populations: 5,800thTop
10%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 9,683rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 13,015thRudest Citizens: 13,435thMost Conservative: 16,142ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,362nd
Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9th in the regionMost Armed: 9th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 14th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 15th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 17th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 24th in the regionMost Devout: 26th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 27th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 28th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 30th in the regionRudest Citizens: 30th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 31st in the regionLargest Governments: 38th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Tobelade was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Tobelade was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Tobelade was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, good-looking doctors are obliged by law to give foot rubs to Tobias.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, no one knows how to tie a reef knot.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?".
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations.
  • : Following new legislation in Tobelade, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school.

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