The Watchfires of Uncle Val is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 23.765 billion Uncle Valians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 71.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Uncle Valian economy, worth a remarkable 2,585 trillion $$s a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Tourism. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,775 $$s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Policy reversals are more often graceful demi-détournés than u-turns, abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, programmers often reinvent the wheel, and hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncle Val's national animal is the ^-^, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Uncle Val is ranked 32,818^th in the world and 1^st in Conquered and Liberated Regions of UNAF for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 5,368.25 on the Gilded Widget Scale.