The Democratic States of New Xyroxes is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Zylon Kromak with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.398 billion New Xyroxesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xyloth. The average income tax rate is 74.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xyroxesian economy, worth 769 trillion Credits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,564 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns, preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance, owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams, and only clowns with PhDs from clown college can advise Zylon Kromak on New Xyroxes's coulrophobia epidemic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Xyroxes's national animal is the BearSquirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

New Xyroxes is ranked 290,037^th in the world and 6,311^th in The North Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.27 kickbacks per hour.