by Max Barry

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The Grey Wardens of Upper Michigania

“Eshialand's Guardian Puppet”

Category: Mother Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Zero

Location: 4th International Socialist Union


Upper Michigania

Population3.49 billion

LeaderQueen Summer Agireul
FaithDefending the Many Regions of the World


The Grey Wardens of Upper Michigania is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Summer Agireul with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.49 billion Upper Michiganians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marquette. The average income tax rate is 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Upper Michiganian economy, worth 530 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 152,039 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Diplomats in Upper Michigania are furious at constant police surveillance, human sacrifice to the metaphorical altar of Mammon ensures national prosperity, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, and ceremonial zweihänders are used in holy rituals. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Upper Michigania's national animal is the gryphon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Defending the Many Regions of the World.

Upper Michigania is ranked 234,007th in the world and 11th in 4th International Socialist Union for Most Inclusive, scoring 20.76 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

Most Primitive: 229thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 734thMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,168thMost Devout: 1,308thHighest Crime Rates: 1,855thTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,645thMost Avoided: 3,773rdLargest Black Market: 4,539thLargest Retail Industry: 5,008thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,235thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,356thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,486thFattest Citizens: 6,061stMost Rebellious Youth: 6,305thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,220thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,241stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,489thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,430thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9,980thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,156thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,597thLargest Welfare Programs: 10,617thMost Cultured: 10,950thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,137thMost Armed: 12,186thTop
Most Patriotic: 12,648thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,306thHighest Average Incomes: 13,647thMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,743rdHighest Poor Incomes: 16,730thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 17,921stHighest Average Tax Rates: 19,147thMost Efficient Economies: 20,021stLargest Governments: 20,209th
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 4 » Jevron, Panthalassa-Pangaea, 1 CL, and Hashishin.

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