The Commonwealth of The Canadian Republic Colonies is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Joe Trudeau with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate population of 6.468 billion Canadian Republic Coloniesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mapelton. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Canadian Coloniesian economy, worth 817 trillion Canadian Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 126,339 Canadian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives, nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, and scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Canadian Republic Colonies's national animal is the Osprey, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

The Canadian Republic Colonies is ranked 3,995^th in the world and 20^th in Gay for Safest, scoring 134.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.