The Council Republic of The AbelLandia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Taco Schmidt with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.197 billion AbelLandians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rotterdam. The average income tax rate is 70.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient AbelLandian economy, worth 163 trillion Schurfies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 136,305 Schurfies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Man-love is banned in the name of His love, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, government forces are said to be deterred by signs reading "No Spam, Cold Callers or Central Government - Thank You", and toddlers are wielding machine guns in the name of national defense. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The AbelLandia's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

The AbelLandia is ranked 82,894^th in the world and 436^th in Europe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,061.05 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.