The South PacificBoard

Lily pad nation wrote:

But I didn’t buy you anything! Now I feel like I need to gift you something, you’ve given me both a lovely card and an obligation.
I couldn’t ask for better presents!

No such obligation exists! Simply the present of your presence is enough!

Steampunk engineers wrote:

Indeed, the food is nice
*throws another gingerbread house at your head*
Merry Christmas!

I'm sure You're just intent on fattening us all up
...

*scoffs the gingerbread house*

Lily pad nation wrote:

Christmas is about family, Pai Natal probably just wants to create a new family
(´・ω・)
Out o’ toes.
But still, isn’t the greatest gift of all the gift of giving?

But he eats them! Munches and crunches the toes of poor children! That would be bad enough, but he targets rich children who don't put out butter as well, and that cannot stand. Besides, the greatest gift would be not taking the toes of children who don't put out sticks of butter at night! Who even needs that much butter? Imagine how bad his health must be! Aside from our unbridled anger, we're worried. After putting cyanide on the toes of children didn't work, we put vitamins instead, in the hopes his improved health would make him happier and less likely to chew off child toes.

It only made him stronger.

Beepee wrote:

Im sure Papa Noël wiould provide you with a full set of replacement toes, if you ask him nicely. Have a delightful day filled with love sent from all of us.

We've asked for help from the others, but Santa Claus doesn't even bother responding to our letters, Sinterklass always has some excuse about us "not having wide enough streets for a proper parade", and the one time we invited Krampus (in the hopes he would fight Pai Natal off his turf), they just combined forces!

Flies by

Doddering old duffers wrote:

Pai Natal, the dreaded Toe Thief of Doddering Old Duffers! Once a year he emerges, hell bent on stealing the toes of every child in our nation. The only thing that can sate his appetite for violence is butter. If a child does not present him with a stick of butter on Christmas Eve night, he eats one of their toes as vengeance! So far, this year is our second best in ten years. If the current trend ticks a bit in our favor as the night goes on, we might only lose a little under 100,000 of our children's little toes tonight.

Yes. The day we mourn for the newly maimed, and we renew our resolve to one day kill Pai Natal once and for all. But for now, we set our sights on even higher dairy production levels, to ensure as few children as possible lose their toes in the new year. This is our burden to carry, and we shoulder it with a steely determination. Nothing will divert us from this goal. Know this, Pai Natal: your days are numbered. Suckle on the toes you have now, and realise that soon they will be the last toes you ever devour.

You mock us with these yuletide greetings, ignoring the suffering of our people? For shame! There is nothing merry about this season, not until this depraved creature is executed for his crimes! Generations of children have grown up with not nearly enough toes! One in ten deaths in DOD is a result of a balance-related fall, due to losing toes to Pai Natal! LifeAlert is the number one selling product across the country! We have no circuses, no ballerinas! Internationally made shoes don't fit us, nor do those little scuba flippers! The agony of our people demands justice, nay, vengeance!

You do realize that all balance is in the big toe, and you only need one to walk. In fact it’s not unheard of for a big toe to be removed and reattached in place of a missing thumb. I work with a fellow that’s missing one big toe and he moves quite well.

Beepee wrote:

Wait I always heard it was the pinkie toe (the smallest one) that was required for balance. ahhh everything I've ever known has fallen over!

Has everything you’ve ever known lost its toe then, causing it to fall over?

Japanese Schoolgirls wrote:

Merry Christmas, TSP~

Merry Christmas!
*launches gingerbread cookies at you*

Drystar wrote:

You do realize that all balance is in the big toe, and you only need one to walk. In fact it’s not unheard of for a big toe to be removed and reattached in place of a missing thumb. I work with a fellow that’s missing one big toe and he moves quite well.

He starts with the big one! It's the mark of a wise and crafty person who has retained their big toe all through childhood, when Pai Natal no longer desires their footly flesh. But he doesn't stop with that one! No, he munches and crunches on the toes of those who fail to provide him a stick of butter. Besides, balance or not, it's a terrible thing to wake up with no toe through no fault of your own. Our nation simply can't produce enough fresh butter in time for the holidays. We can't eve stockpile it, because if there's one thing Pai Natal hates more than no butter, it's old butter.

Beepee wrote:

Wait I always heard it was the pinkie toe (the smallest one) that was required for balance. ahhh everything I've ever known has fallen over!

They're all required, but the big and pinky toes are the most important, with the big toe having a bigger role in carrying the weight. I can't tell you how much money goes towards putting railings on every vertical surface to help prevent people from falling constantly.

The Filippinas wrote:

Wait, you're not gonna celebrate Christmas?
Well, Merry Christmas anyways!! :)

No! Stop! With ever merry Christmas, you only feed his power! Stop, before it is too late! Stop before more children lose their toes!

Beepee wrote:

Let's be fair. children don't need toes.
indeed.... do we even need children?

Absolutely not. The fewer children the better, I say. But they make such a racket whenever their toes are taken, we can't sleep properly for weeks, what with the caterwauling. Plus, eventually they all become adults who are productive, and Pai Natal crippling our workforce is an act of war!

Beepee wrote:

It's time for a christmas SWAN update

...

SWANs celebrate christmas by hitting that endorsement button for Aumeltopia.

What if we’re llamas, not swans? Are you discriminating against llamas??? o.0

Amerion wrote:

What if we’re llamas, not swans? Are you discriminating against llamas??? o.0

Then you need to become a SWAN! Because being a SWAN is the most important thing.*

_{^{Llama** are also very important}}

^{_{** llama, llamas, llamopotami, what is the plural?}}