The Queendom of Staezatka is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its fear of technology, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 445 million Staezatkans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New København. The average income tax rate is 64.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Staezatkan economy, worth 10.6 trillion Beans a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 23,859 Beans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Orphanages are closing their doors as the government forces parents to actually raise their children, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, Mr Happy's Funland has just been named Staezatka's new capital, and forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Staezatka's national animal is the Copper Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Staezatka is ranked 236,033^rd in the world and 18^th in Bloopsjooj for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -6.45 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.