The Oppressed Peoples of Scumbag Swans is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Gerraint with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 11.937 billion Scumbag Swans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Administration, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of London. The average income tax rate is 20.0%.

The Scumbag Swansian economy, worth 594 trillion Seanadars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 49,795 Seanadars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain, society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy, in court almost every witness is a hostile witness, and women who display their ankles are shunned by society. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force. Scumbag Swans's national animal is the Eternal Heavenly Swan, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Scumbaggism.

Scumbag Swans is ranked 40,817^th in the world and 1^st in The Black Swan Kingdom for Most Patriotic, with 31.86 flags saluted per person per day.