by Max Barry

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The Lusophone Commonwealth of NorthPortugal

“Esta é Ditosa Pátria Minha Amada!”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Frightening
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Europe

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

NorthPortugal

Population12.303 billion

CapitalVila de Campelos
LeaderQueen Maria IV
FaithUnofficial

CurrencyEscudo
AnimalDragon

The Lusophone Commonwealth of NorthPortugal is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Maria IV with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 12.303 billion Lusophones hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vila de Campelos. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Lusophone economy, worth a remarkable 2,197 trillion Escudoes a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 178,614 Escudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Queen Maria IV's former secretary was last sighted on her new yacht, pictures of government employees with expensive Pearbooks 'working' on exotic beaches dominate local tabloids, children's TV shows are having a gay old time, and clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions. Crime is totally unknown. NorthPortugal's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Unofficial.

NorthPortugal is ranked 22,083rd in the world and 274th in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.18 law-abiding acts per hour.

Top
1%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2,230thNicest Citizens: 2,233rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,289thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,565thMost Efficient Economies: 2,690thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,805thTop
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 3,523rdMost Pacifist: 4,079thMost Cultured: 4,361stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,499thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,811thLargest Governments: 6,321stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,408thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,577thSmartest Citizens: 7,511thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,739thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,807thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,931stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11,007thLargest Information Technology Sector: 11,732ndMost Secular: 12,641stLargest Retail Industry: 14,856thTop
10%
Best Weather: 15,430thNudest: 15,838thLowest Crime Rates: 22,083rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 24,227thMost Corrupt Governments: 24,527thMost Politically Free: 28,921stHighest Drug Use: 29,133rd
Top
5%
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 17th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 41st in the regionNicest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 44th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 45th in the regionNudest: 48th in the regionMost Politically Free: 50th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 52nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 53rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 53rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Cultured: 80th in the regionMost Pacifist: 88th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 92nd in the regionLargest Governments: 102nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 120th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 128th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 135th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 139th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 140th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 151st in the region

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