The Loving Couple of -ArtF4n is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Gilbert with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.024 billion -ArtF4nians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bonesborough. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 60.7%.

The frighteningly efficient -ArtF4nian economy, worth 563 trillion snails a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,254 snails, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

The nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations, the WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet, opening a bad email attachment can be a major felony, and a child's only Trickster Night scare is the sight of their parents dancing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -ArtF4n's national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

-ArtF4n is ranked 30,129^th in the world and 5^th in Free Japan for Most Patriotic, with 38.36 flags saluted per person per day.