The Quasi-Utopia of Toastsylvania is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Toastchan with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 1.623 billion Toastsylvanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toastsylvania City. The average income tax rate is 87.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Toastsylvanian economy, worth 78.5 trillion Rolles a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 48,366 Rolles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Millions of Toastsylvanians are excellent swimmers, veteran cops reminisce over their heavy armor days, children aren't allowed to chew their pencils until they get home from school, and posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Toastsylvania's national animal is the Nyan Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Toastsylvania is ranked 257,554^th in the world and 5,635^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -7.38 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.