The Republic of Mestov is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Alden Rossi with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, pith helmet sales, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.22 billion Mestovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valence. The average income tax rate is 75.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mestovian economy, worth 913 trillion Vineroes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 174,968 Vineroes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Meat-eating is frowned upon, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mestov's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mestov is ranked 12,197^th in the world and 326^th in The East Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,407.55 pounds of wildlife per square mile.