The Stanley Cup Playoff Watcher of Kolatis is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Edmund Johnson with an even hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic population of 1.123 billion Kolatisians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kolatisburg. The average income tax rate is 16.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Kolatisian economy, worth 63.0 trillion Kols a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Pizza Delivery, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,116 Kols, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, Kolatis has designated Kolatisburg as its capital city, and Edmund Johnson has just been declared ruler of Kolatis in an international press conference. Crime is totally unknown. Kolatis's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Kolatis is ranked 179,493^rd in the world and 228^th in United Democratic Nations for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.