The Holy Empire of Arumba is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Johnny with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, parental licensing program, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.369 billion Arumbas are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polk City. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Arumba economy, worth an astonishing 10,565 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 472,349 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Collisions between bicycles and carnival floats are on the rise, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, nuclear physics is the most popular course at university, and military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arumba's national animal is the Harmles Alligator, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Aztec.

Arumba is ranked 1,004^th in the world and 1^st in The Beach for Most Corrupt Governments, with 474.21 kickbacks per hour.