The Ascension of Ascended to Heaven is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its public floggings, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.412 billion Ascended to Heavenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Ascended to Heavenian economy, worth 823 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 128,414 bitcoins, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

Victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, typing Leader's name into a search engine always gives zero matches, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, and a typical peasant's life cycle leads from birth to the gallows. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ascended to Heaven's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ascended to Heaven is ranked 37,437^th in the world and 113^th in Stereo Hearts for Most Beautiful Environments, with 765.45 pounds of wildlife per square mile.