The Helpdesk of Avalnier is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, parental licensing program, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.814 billion Avalnierians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fuzzybottom. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Avalnierian economy, worth an astonishing 18,379 trillion Chocolate Chip Pancakes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 685,425 Chocolate Chip Pancakes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,288,934 per year while the poor average 152,695, a ratio of 15.0 to 1.

Curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net, a new "thought police" branch is being developed, immigrants who don't like the taste of Avalnierian Turnip Chips are immediately deported, and banning party poppers has been a real party pooper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Avalnier's national animal is the Big Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Holy haberdashery of Batman.

Avalnier is ranked 47,488^th in the world and 2,338^th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 647.57 on the Clooney Contribution Index.